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NVC Resources on Healing

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Self-Empathy Regulation Process

If you are aware that your amygdala is activated, that you are in fight/flight or freeze and struggling to stay connected and compassionate with yourself or another, You can connect to your prefrontal cortex, regulate your upset, and find a healthy response to the situation by observing your breath, thoughts, and sensations; feeling and expressing your emotions; and connecting to your needs...
Breaking Free of "If Only You Were Different, They Would Change"

Because we affect one another it can be hard to know where to take responsibility and where to leave it with the other person. This means we need self empathy, and presence for another's struggles without compulsion to "make them happy" or bring them healthy change. You can then attend to the needs and to your choice about if and how you want to contribute with compassion. Respect them as...
Making Requests to Enrich Our Lives

Trainer Tip The healthy and strong individual is the one who asks for help when he needs it, whether he’s got an abscess on his knee or in his soul. —Rona Barrett Contrary to popular belief, when you make a request of someone, you do not diminish your relationship; you enhance it. It is laborious, frustrating, and futile to search for the perfect person who will automatically know what you want...
Find Agency With “Falling Out of Love”

Falling out of love is a myth that can create a sense of helplessness and hopelessness. It attributes disconnect to some vague force that descends upon your relationship. With key questions and the willingness to find clarity, you can access agency in the midst of “falling out love.” The initial experience of "falling in love" involves a short and intense period of time in which you both...
Going Beyond Fear

We all have experienced fear in our lives. For some of us it has had crippling effects. Before dealing with fear it is important to distinguish between fear being defined as a thought or a feeling. In order to deal with fear and uncover what is behind it, it is essential to define it as a feeling. Franklin D. Roosevelt was in touch with how easy it is to create in our mind "thoughts of fear"...
What Would Be Possible If I Loved Myself?

this complete 3 session course Learn to have empathy for your harsh inner critic Scrutinize the core beliefs that get in the way of loving yourself Discover and awaken your Inner Beloved Master healing self-love practices, and Gradually begin to take responsibility for loving yourself! {attachment:all} Keywords: self love consciousness expression feelings honesty needs observation presence...
Two Self-Empathy Exercises

Self-Empathy: Healing from the Inside Out. This session is from the NVC Academy's 2017 Telethon. Listen in as Mary offers two experiential self-empathy exercises: I Love It When, and What Do I Want / Why Do I Want It. Deepen your ability to connect with self — novel and effective ways to engage the process of Self-Empathy! Keywords: exercises/practices intention self empathy self compassion...
Calling Out / Calling In

bring in as much compassion as you would to someone who was cut with a sword. Focusing on what's important to them, and not so much on how it was said. This may support greater understanding and healing. Otherwise, we risk prioritizing needs, norms, and inequities of the dominant culture, over caring for people who bear the invisible brunt of such norms. Read this article Keywords: attention...
The Basics of Life-Serving Boundaries

and energy where you want it to go. Thus we can have care and compassion without taking responsibility for others, nor feeling guilty when we say “no”. This takes awareness, skills, practice, healing and compassion. Read this practice exercise Keywords: boundaries codependency enmeshment responsibility emotional slavery liberation LaShelle Lowe-Charde Elia Lowe Charde
Working with Subtle Boundary Violations

Subtle boundary violations are more difficult to catch and name in the moment, than obvious boundary violations. Becoming more aware of these moments and finding the words to set a boundary are critical to supporting healthy relating long-term. Three categories of subtle boundary violations are (1.) lack of mutuality, (2.) voice tone and volume, and (3.) speaking for or about someone. Read on...