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NVC Resources on Empathy

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The Gift of Understanding

Trainer Tip It is well to give when asked, but it is better to give unasked, through understanding. —Kahil Gibran All people long for understanding. It is such an easy thing to give, yet rarely do we see its importance in creating peace of mind. Consider a situation in which you have just heard that your boyfriend is dating one of your friends. You call another friend to tell her about it and...
Releasing Our Judgments

Trainer Tip There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. —Edith Wharton An underlying theme in a Nonviolent Communication consciousness is to translate our judgments into feelings and needs. It is impossible to value other people’s needs and remain compassionate if we simultaneously harbor judgments. Releasing judgments, however, can feel like a...
Clarifying Our Needs

Trainer Tip "It all starts with self-reflection. Then you can know and empathize more profoundly with someone else." —Shirley MacLaine We often find ourselves slipping into old behaviors that we would rather change. This is because we don’t have a new plan for responding to the same old situations. Let’s say you work with someone who talks much more than you enjoy. You might try to listen to...
Connection, Connection, Connection

Trainer Tip "I want to connect more than I want to be right and more than I want to win!" —Mary Mackenzie Do you get into “right fights”? You know you’re in one when you’re arguing with somebody in order to be right or because you want to win. In these arguments we are rarely trying to connect. Being right is the name of the game. Why do we do this? For many, it is an attempt to meet needs for...
10 Healthy Ways To Deal With Anger

There appears to be a lot of confusion about anger. Many people believe it is bad to get angry and/or that anger is something to be avoided at all costs. Anger has been viewed by many as a negative. This may be because we confuse unhealthy behavior (the result of what happens when anger is not dealt with in a healthy way) with the emotion. Anger is an emotion and it can be thought of as an...
Parenting for Connection

When I was a boy I received a King Kong action figure for my birthday. At that time I really liked King Kong and this gift was very special. While playing with my toy I soon found out that my little brother (around 3 years old) was afraid of my King Kong doll. So like a good big brother I ran around the house scaring him by showing him the doll and by roaring like King Kong. My brother, of...
Principle Based Teaching

Access this complete 6 session course Bring your teaching of NVC to a new level in this intensive, hands-on course recording. The focus of this 6-session class is on shifting the intention of your teaching from how to why while embodying the principles and practice of NVC every step of the way - from planning to delivery. The methodology Miki offers is to start with understanding what the...
Taking 100% Responsibility for Every Relationship

Access this complete 4 session course When relationships falter, our habitual response is either to blame the other person (sadly frequent) or to blame ourselves. If only one or the other of us did something “right,” then the relationship would be different… Whoever you blame, the act of blaming leaves you in the victim position and unable to have the relationship you want. Taking 100%...
MLK, Nonviolence, and Communication

Today in the U.S. is the holy-day each year we celebrate and honor the life and legacy of Martin Luther King, Jr., his nonviolent approach to social change calling society towards the soaring ideals enshrined in the U.S. Declaration of Independence of freedom and equality for all. Dr. King was a tremendous light shining out from a long lineage going back to Mahatma Gandhi in India,...
Becoming Regenerative

I am feeling deeply inspired by the regeneration movement. Paul Hawken, an environmental activist for many decades and one the leading voices in this movement, has written a new book called Regeneration: Ending the Climate Crisis in One Generation. The movement as I understand it is about not only living sustainably on the planet but also healing the planet from the tremendous damage we humans...