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NVC Resources on Empathy

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How to Ask for Space

always about intimacy or connection. Often, other needs are at play like reassurance, acceptance, and love. You can ask the other person to look through the needs list. Or, you could make some empathy guesses. Once they have identified the need, ask about other ways you could contribute to that need. There are likely many ways to meet that need that don't trigger reactivity or irritation for...
Second Chances

life. I don't put a demand on myself to find compassion and connection in every moment. Life is full of second chances. I only need the willingness to take them. When I have taken time to receive empathy and connect to the needs of all involved before trying again, people almost always enjoy my second chances. I don't need to give up because I didn't have the quality of connection I want on the...
I'll Work on Me, You Work on You

Once we learn a communication tool like NVC, our enthusiasm can extend to a heartfelt desire to share it with others. We imagine that if we are benefiting from the tools of empathy, honesty and self-connection, those we love and care for will also. We notice that our own compassion increases and our psychological suffering decreases. Of course, we want that for those we love! Sometimes this can...
The Four Responses Exercise Cards

practice group or NVC training to understand 4 different ways of responding to hard to hear messages. Become aware of the way you habitually respond to stimulus and develop skills to respond with empathy and express honestly. Keywords: Rachelle Lamb Dialogue preparation conversation preparation learning tool NVC mechanics practice roleplay Practice Groups facilitation facilitator response NVC...
Creating Real Challenges—Are you Game?

doable request — and, when given, the person feels deeply seen by the challenger. A challenge isn't just about getting someone to take action on something important to them; it's a fierce form of empathy that supports people in connecting with their life force, and integrates it into their lives with action. A real challenge is tied to the receiver's goals, passions and dreams -- and expands...
Three Ways to Build Connection Even When You Disagree

by finding a point of agreement. For example, you can agree with part of what they said. Or if you completely disagree, you can express what greater understanding, inspiration, appreciation or empathy you have in response to what they're saying. Read on for more on this, plus, ten sentence stems to get you started. Read this article Keywords: disagree prevent conflict opposing connect Martha...
Expressing Our Pain Without Blame

our interpretations, we are more likely to express what's important to us without blame and also to become resilient. From there, the listener can have more space to offer their full presence and empathy. Read on for more. Read this article Keywords: jealousy blame self responsibility fault hurt Miki Kashtan
Catch Unhealthy Relationship Dynamics Early

turning away, shrinking, losing access to parts of yourself, hiding, daydreaming about a different life, and judgmental thoughts. Instead, shift the dynamic: take responsibility, provide empathy, and commit to change. See this article Keywords: impact escalation reactivity boundaries relationship LaShelle Lowe-Chardé Elia Lowe Charde
Anger’s Two Kinds of Reactivity

a nervous system response in another. And then there's the anger that's a reaction to someone's anger -- a nervous system startle-response. Instead of either of these, we can learn to heal with empathy, look for unequal power dynamics, take responsibility to make repairs, and shift into the clean, life-serving, fully expressed anger and love. Read this article Keywords: anger reactivity temper...
Two Basics That Support Conflict Resolution

Connecting, with yourself and with the other person, is foundational to care and creativity. Before dialogue connect with your intention and needs for being with grief, fear or pain, and empathy. Dialogue when you're both rested, fed, and have the spaciousness. Start with expressing care and a desire to find mutually satisfying solutions. To deepen connection you might repeat what you hear and...