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Understanding Arguments Against NVC

Even those who practice NVC can repeat old patterns of thinking, believing, feeling, and behaving. If they do, but still use ‘NVC language’ others may think the issue is NVC rather than the person’s capacity. This week, notice even a small instance where someone is against something you suggest. To build trust and connection, experiment with offering empathy or asking them to share what they...
Hearing Challenging Comments and Stretching into Love

When feeling unworthy, powerless, or afraid, we can hear others' comments as criticism, rejection, demands, limits, or attacks. Practice self-compassion, release attachments, and ask “How can I stretch the boundaries of who I believe myself to be, in service of love?”. Try replacing love with a word that inspires you (e.g. freedom, thriving, etc). Note answers that arise later. Or explore the...
Key Assumptions and Intentions of NVC

I. Assumptions Underlying the Practice of Nonviolent Communication Following are key assumptions that NVC practice is based on. Many traditions share these assumptions; NVC gives us concrete, powerful tools for putting them into practice. When we live based on these assumptions, self-connection and connection with others become increasingly possible and easy. All human beings share the same...
Self Regulation - Moving Outside of Triggers

Yvette Erasmus shares practices to help us develop a regulated nervous system. We all get hijacked and triggered at some point. When that happens we can travel a blame and shame road or we can greet ourselves with graciousness and self compassion. It sounds like: I didn't have it in me today. I am a work in progress. I want to develop this skill so I will keep practicing. Keywords: nervous...
The Spirituality of Nonviolent Communication

Access this complete 6 session course Discover how the perennial strength of compassion and the living energy of needs can help you develop resilience in order to remain present with yourself and others amidst today's challenges. Fully empower your place and engagement in life, cultivate and strengthen your center. The center is where your values lie, your heart center, and the center of your...
Integrating NVC

Access this complete 6 session course Does NVC seem like a good idea, but not practical in the real world? Do you feel frustrated when you find yourself in the same jackal scenario over and over again? This course will guide you toward integrating NVC into all aspects of your life. Provided in 6 parts, this course aims to deepen understanding about the arenas in which NVC operates. Once in a...
Nonviolence in the Face of Hatred

When Anita's sister reveals that the Ku Klux Klan broke into her home and dragged her out into a field towards a burning cross, Anita's commitment to nonviolence is challenged. Here, Miki highlights practices and lessons from her story of inner struggle -- including an insight about how, even in extreme polarization, our freedom and healing is wrapped up in others' freedom and healing. Read...
Becoming Regenerative

I am feeling deeply inspired by the regeneration movement. Paul Hawken, an environmental activist for many decades and one the leading voices in this movement, has written a new book called Regeneration: Ending the Climate Crisis in One Generation. The movement as I understand it is about not only living sustainably on the planet but also healing the planet from the tremendous damage we humans...
Four Questions to Ask Yourself Before Important Conversations

What's my intention? What needs am I trying to meet? What do I want the other person to know or understand? How can I say it in a way they are most likely to hear? These are four questions we can use in preparation for an important conversation. Read on for more on this, plus four accompanying practices. Read this article This article was originally published on Oren's Website:...
Moving Beyond Needs as Met or Unmet

Sometimes when we regard needs as something that could be met or unmet by another person or by a situation we unconsciously hold the belief that our needs should be met. Or we end up holding blame or implying wrongdoing. People are more likely to resist a request made from this stance. Instead, here are practices to increasingly losen any remaining attachment or demand energy -- and open our...