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NVC Resources on Exercises and Practices

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Deal-Breakers and Staying with Yourself

When navigating any relationship, you might find yourself asking if it is okay to have particular boundaries, to decide that particular behavior is a deal-breaker, or to make certain requests. You ask, “Should I expect this need to be met? Or, “Am I supposed to be okay with this behavior?” Unfortunately the state of mind that asks questions like these is not the state of mind that can answer...
A Deep Dive into the Art of Mediation

Access this complete 5 session course Mediation as a practice in daily life is based on the assumption that the structure of two is not enough. When two people are stimulated they are less available to empathize, to see the beauty in one another. The mediator is simply a third party who is not stimulated and has the skills to help facilitate connection, cooperation, and creativity to discover...
Transparency

Kelly Bryson, CNVC Certified Trainer who is especially known for his skill in teaching people how to live authentically, focuses this audio on honesty: how to express what you're most afraid to say, when honesty is the best choice to support connection and how to employ "naked" honesty. He explains that transparency is a practice in self-acceptance and the outcome of living in integrity with...
Breaking Free of "If Only You Were Different, They Would Change"

Because we affect one another it can be hard to know where to take responsibility and where to leave it with the other person. This means we need self empathy, and presence for another's struggles without compulsion to "make them happy" or bring them healthy change. You can then attend to the needs and to your choice about if and how you want to contribute with compassion. Respect them as...
How to Make Requests with Confidence

Before you make a request you can connect fully to a time when your need was met. Notice how your request feels and sounds different from this place of aliveness. Excitement about meeting a need implies confidence and trust about moving forward together. Offer an invitation to find strategies that work for both of you. Read this practice exercise Keywords: request demand collaboration LaShelle...
Engagement And Happiness

When we are completely involved in an activity for its own sake we are in engagement. Here, the ego falls away and time flies. Every action, movement, and thought follows inevitably from the previous one. Our whole being is involved, and we're using our skills to the utmost. Read on for activities that could stimulate engagement, a list of subjectively experienced elements of engagement and a...
Wishing For More Maturity & Skill In Others

In some situations you might expect people to show a degree of maturity or skill. When they don't, your anger-fueled response doesn't lead to lasting improved relationship change. Instead, find someone who retains focus on your feelings and needs rather than colluding with you about what should(n't) be. This can support greater acceptance, grief, vulnerability, groundedness and discernment,...
Keys To Building Trust After Broken Agreements

Building trust involves each person taking responsibility for what they want by identifying their needs, and making specific and doable requests that open a negotiation. Identify in what contexts you already have trust, what you want to be able to trust, and how you may be blocking or cultivating that trust. Making requests for specific actions of what to do differently can also help. Read this...
Understanding The Difference Between Life-Serving Boundaries And Threats

When someone's behavior costs us, we may attempt to negotiate as much as possible. After some rounds of this, if there's no change we may reach a tolerance limit. Thus we may set a boundary for self care and clarity about what's not workable. However, depending on intentions and the way its said, this may or may not be a punishment to get even. Here, clarity about intentions, feelings, needs,...
Six Ways That Support You Being Heard

When you don't have a sense of being heard you can apply skills to help you can interrupt cycles of reactivity and resentment, and create connection. Let's look at six ways that will support you in being heard. These are clarity about the topic and needs; supportive conditions; respect for autonomy; sharing your intention; attending to emotional security; and making clear requests. Read this...