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NVC Resources on Exercises and Practices

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Find Agency With “Falling Out of Love”

Falling out of love is a myth that can create a sense of helplessness and hopelessness. It attributes disconnect to some vague force that descends upon your relationship. With key questions and the willingness to find clarity, you can access agency in the midst of “falling out love.” The initial experience of "falling in love" involves a short and intense period of time in which you both...
Finding Your Way from Judgment to Discernment

You aspire to live a life of integrity. You feel confident about a set of ethical standards to which you adhere. At the same time, you notice yourself get angry and judgmental when others don't follow your principles. It's confusing because you don't want to judge others, yet there has to be some moral standard, doesn't there?! From the framework of Mindful Compassionate Dialogue, we can...
What to do When Racial Oppression and Privilege Collide

For over 10 years I ran a retreat to bring together members of the Global Majority* and white people. The intention was to help people from both groups learn ways they could show up and come together to combat racism. In one session, my co-trainer - a Latino man - shared a story about his experience of the police when he was a teenager. He and his brother had been stopped while driving home....
Guided Dialogue

In this snippet from Duke Duchscherer's course, Restorative Dialogues: Transforming Conflict, Building Community Resilience, he shares a structured approach for conflict resolution or communication facilitation. It involves a facilitator guiding a conversation between two parties in conflict. The process begins with one party expressing their perspective while the other listens actively. The...
9 Skills for Navigating Conflict

Access this complete 8 session course Do you long for more reliable access to NVC when you need it the most? When conflict erupts, NVC skills can sometimes seem so far away. When you feel separate, enflamed with uncomfortable emotions and judgment, NVC can seem like the farthest thing from your mind. During those times it can be all too easy just to react when what you may really want to do is...
Sexual Expression

In Mindful Compassionate Dialogue, discerning the difference between a universal need and a strategy to meet that need can mean the difference between staying stuck or getting unstuck in a conflict. Let's look at a simple example. If you believe your need for peace is the same as time alone, you can only meet your need for peace if you get alone time. Getting regular alone time is a popular...
How to Ask for Space

Do you ever wish you could get a little more breathing room in an intimate relationship? From your perspective, they move in so close that you wish you had a snorkel so you could get a little air. The other person, on the other hand, is feeling hurt wanting more intimacy and is receiving your request for space as a form of rejection or lack of caring. You notice this conflict repeating itself...
Transforming Needs Into Compassionate Connection

Iris Bawidamann explains how needs, like appreciation, can easily turn into demands or self-blame when approached from a place of lack or expectation. Instead of blaming others for not meeting our needs or harshly demanding fulfillment from ourselves, living compassion invites us to gently embrace and connect with the essence of our needs. By tuning into the feeling and meaning of appreciation...
The Spiral Blend

David explores how movement helps you hold your center when navigating challenging conversations. Example: Move to Wind ~ to calm your system; Move to Ground ~ to notice the ground on which you stand; and Step to Shikaku ~ step behind to practice empathic listening. Listen Now. Keywords: consciousness presence somatic empathy movement needs strategies strategy mourning gratitude empathic guess...
Basic Pitfalls of Using NVC

When many people first learn Nonviolent Communication, they become so enthusiastic about the possibilities they see unfolding, that they immediately try to put it to use everywhere. Often enough, the results can be disastrous, such that other people become deeply suspicious of NVC. Here is a sample of what people often hear from others in such circumstances: "It's like I've got a complete...