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NVC Resources on Feelings

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Safe Experimentation

Trainer Tip "Freedom is the supreme good—freedom from self-imposed limitation." —Elbert Hubbard Do you ever find yourself trying for perfection, and then feeling discouraged at your progress? Harrumph! Let’s make a pact for today that we won’t even try for perfection. It isn’t possible, anyway, and expecting it limits our ability to feel joy. So let’s just set it aside. Instead of perfection,...
Getting Out of Ourselves

Trainer Tip If you want to be listened to, you should put in time listening. —Marge Piercy I spent most of my life obsessing about myself and my needs. I thought I was a caring person, but I rarely contributed to anyone else’s life unless it was convenient for me. I had a mentor once who told me that I spent too much time thinking about my own comfort and not enough time considering other...
Embracing Jackal Thoughts

Ask the Trainer Hello Trainer, If all jackals are thoughts, are all thoughts jackals? In trainings I say our jackals are thoughts and now I've come to wonder if all thoughts are jackals. Even if we think, "it's a beautiful day," are we in jackal? Or is it more our judgmental and blaming thoughts which are jackals? Can it be said that when we are in our heads and thinking, we are in jackal...
Moving Out of the Hallway

Trainer Tip One doesn’t discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time. —André Gide When I first started to think about moving out of my hometown, I felt excited and raring to go. I wanted a change and I was convinced that I would “find myself” in a new town where no one had expectations of who I was. All my energy was about moving. I had already moved...
Developing Discernment

Listen to Jim and Jori Manske share their understanding of discernment to gain clarity, insight, and wisdom for making life-serving distinctions and choices. Discernment Exercise: Using the "Four Choices" for Self-Empathy Once each day, write down a message you found difficult to hear... Imagine receiving the message and then internally responding with each of these choices: 1. Judgmental...
The Sweetest Game in Town

Ask the Trainer I have always tried to encourage my children in their development through praise of certain behaviors, though I don't believe in praise or criticism of the person. For instance: "I notice you are doing a great job being patient, or generous, etc." Or: "Thank you for being so cooperative and respectful during violin practice. Great work!" What's your perspective on praise?...
Don’t Make Assumptions!

Trainer Tip Every man takes the limits of his own field of vision for the limits of the world. —Arthur Schopenhauer Do you ever feel certain that other people see things the way you do, only to find out they don’t? Did you ever sit in a meeting feeling bored, certain that the other participants were also bored, only to discover when you mentioned it that they were totally engaged? People make...
Speaking Classical Giraffe

Ask the Trainer Dear Trainer, I have been practicing and integrating NVC into my life in a focused way for the past three years or so and have found the benefits of it truly transformative. At one point in my practice, it was brought to my attention that some people find the use of "formal NVC" off-putting, that it sounds phony, contrived, or mechanical. In asking a trainer about this, I was...
Communicating with Children

Trainer Tip "The ways parents interact with their children contribute to shaping children’s understanding of themselves, their parents, human nature, and the world around them. A parent who takes a toy away from a toddler who had just taken it from another child, while saying, “No grabbing,” teaches both children that grabbing is okay—for those with more power. A parent who unilaterally imposes...
Transforming Complaint

Trainer Tip NVC-based social change naturally emerges from “a certain kind of spirituality”, a quality of spiritual clarity. Intuitions and impulses arising from spiritual clarity are more likely to support sustainable systems. 0. Zero Step: refine your spiritual clarity: Do you intend to connect in the service of compassionate giving and receiving? Are your Present, Aware? Focused on “From Now...