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NVC Resources on Feelings

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Empathizing with Loved Ones

Mary Mackenzie explains that empathizing with our closest loved ones can be difficult because they matter so deeply to us, past experiences might create emotional barriers, and we might fear losing ourselves in the process. To grow our empathy skills, we must trust that we can care for both ourselves and others, practice empathy with people outside our inner circle, and ensure our emotional...
Key Differentiations in Nonviolent Communication

Veteran CNVC Certified Trainer, Sylvia Haskvitz, reviews the key distinctions (sometimes referred to as the key differentiations) in Nonviolent Communication (NVC). Listen to this audio to deepen your NVC consciousness and skills through differentiating "giraffe" concepts, themes and habits from "jackal" concepts, themes and habits. This audio is recommended for people new to the NVC process or...
Defusing Self-Sabotage

Access this complete 6 session course In this 6-session course Sarah Peyton will take you through the 5 levels of unconscious contracts that can create patterns of self-sabotage and self-defeat. Each session introduces a different unconscious contract based on various aspects of relational neuroscience and provides support for the release of these contracts. Sarah Peyton shows you how, with...
Exercise In Self Compassion

With this exercise you'll choose an experience you had with someone where your needs were not met. You'll work with the related feelings, judgements, values, and feeling the fullness of the need even though it was not met, plus any sadness that may arise. Read this practice exercise Keywords: self compassion disappointment mourning unmet needs loss Robert Gonzalez
Healing And Dissolving Chronic Anger

It can seem like anger protects you. But it's your ability to name your needs, honor your range of feelings, and act on your needs that keeps you healthy and safe. When you remain present for an emotion and allow it to flow, it'll last just over a minute and dissolve, making room for the next layer of experience. Practice noticing any anger you have, without resistance. Set up self-empathy or...
Enjoying the Jackal Show

Trainer Tip "Any change in one part of your life affects all other parts." —Gloria Karpinski When I am emotionally charged, my brain can begin an internal chatter that keeps me from focusing on the situation I’m in. Before I learned Compassionate Communication, I tried to ignore this chatter or censor it by thinking, “Oh, Mary, you shouldn’t feel that way. Don’t be so impatient. She’s not...
Tips for the Road Series Tip 2

There are two types of requests in the practice of Nonviolent Communication: Action Requests and Connection Requests. Both are important when working through conflict or difficult situations and for building connection. As its name suggests, an action request includes a very specific action that someone can perform to meet a need. For example, you might have needs for connection and peace of...
Find Agency With “Falling Out of Love”

Falling out of love is a myth that can create a sense of helplessness and hopelessness. It attributes disconnect to some vague force that descends upon your relationship. With key questions and the willingness to find clarity, you can access agency in the midst of “falling out love.” The initial experience of "falling in love" involves a short and intense period of time in which you both...
Self Empathy

Trainer Tip Humility is to make a right estimate of one’s self. —Charles Haddon Spurgeon Sometimes our behaviors keep us from meeting our greatest needs. Let’s say you long for deep connection with others, but you are also afraid of it, so you push people away. Then you tell yourself that no one likes you. Often the result is depression, loneliness, and self-criticism. The process of...
Receiving Appreciation

Trainer Tip One can know nothing of (anything) that is worthy to give unless one also knows how to take. —Havelock Ellis For many of us, receiving appreciation is a struggle. We often react either with egotism, thinking that we’re superior, or by diminishing the appreciation, saying things like, “Oh, it wasn’t a big deal.” or “This? I’ve had it for years!” Either way, we’re not fully letting in...