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NVC Resources on Feelings

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Looking at Anger from an NVC Perspective

In this vintage 1999 video, Wes Taylor leads a group of young people in a lively discussion on working with anger. He clarifies that anger is a valid feeling that is a product of "jackal" thinking and points out that anger is never the primary emotion; there is always a more vulnerable feeling underneath anger. When feeling angry, Wes suggests that you ask yourself two simple questions: 1. Is...
Giraffe Mourning

Often making an apology is not enough because people want greater depth of understanding and empathy. Instead of judging ourselves or feeling guilt we can "mourn" what we did that stirred up pain in others. This can bring about a sweet pain that leads to change. Then we can ask ourselves what we can do next time and make a commitment to do this and/or offer a regrets to the person expressing...
What Could I Say or Do When Someone Does Not Talk?

Ask the Trainer Hello, I am familiar with NVC, having read the main book and several of the booklets, and find the concepts very heartening. However, I do have a bit of a challenge that I hope you can help me with. Can you give me advice on what to do when people won't talk to me? I find it very difficult to discover what their needs are that aren't being met! Also, how can I be effective with...
How to Interact with an Angry Practice Group Member

Ask the Trainer Dear Trainer, I would like some suggestions on how to interact with a member of the practice group I started. This individual speaks and acts in a manner I interpret as angry and controlling, and not aligned with the principles of Nonviolent Communication. Recently I requested that he not use the term “NVC” in sending out emails about our practice meetings, citing the guidelines...
Teaching People to Love Us in Ways We Enjoy

Trainer Tip Life itself is the proper binge. —Julia Child Several years ago, when I visited my parents, my mother bought candy as a welcoming gift for me. I was trying to avoid sugar, so I felt annoyed by this. After one of these visits, the thought came to me that she bought candy to express her love. What if I created a new way for her to express it that felt better to me? The next time I...
Taking Responsibility for Our Actions

Trainer Tip We are dangerous when we are not conscious of our responsibility for how we behave, think, and feel —Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D. Some time ago, I was visiting my family in the Seattle area. I was on I-5 heading south. The traffic was much slower than I had anticipated, and what I expected to be a one-hour drive became a two-hour drive. I could not detect any reason the traffic was...
Transforming Limiting Beliefs About Sex Using Neurobiology

This is an opportunity to explore/transform a limiting belief you have about yourself using what science is discovering about neurobiology. A limiting belief is simply an idea or thought we have about ourselves/life that we or others have affirmed over and over again – these ideas usually get in the way of living life fully. Write out any limiting ideas you have about sex then pick one you’d...
Change Your Response to Conflict and Change Your Life

Access this complete 4 session course Maybe you… have challenging people in your life. are on the verge of a big decision or are avoiding a difficult conversation. feel trapped by recurring anger or pain that makes you do or say things you later regret. When you Mediate Your Life, you become more effective in everything you do. You find that you can handle any sort of conflict, including the...
Making Your Empathy Guesses More Natural

Join Mary Mackenzie as she offers a simple approach incorporating NVC into everyday conversations. Her observation is that sometimes speaking NVC empath guesses of feelings and needs can feel un-natural or robotic. A possible solution is to slightly shift the way a person applies their NVC skills, focusing on the flow of conversation in a modern way. This technique has become known as Street...
Laughter, IPNB and Empathy

Sometimes even a very skilled empathy practicitioner can go into offering a non-empathic response, even when asked for empathy. Why? One reason could be that our brains might be less receptive because of unseen forces that affect our brain and relationship with others. This article speaks to the deeper "why" and also to one thing we could do to turn it around... Read this article Keywords: self...