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NVC Resources on Feelings

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Self Regulation - Moving Outside of Triggers

Yvette Erasmus shares practices to help us develop a regulated nervous system. We all get hijacked and triggered at some point. When that happens we can travel a blame and shame road or we can greet ourselves with graciousness and self compassion. It sounds like: I didn't have it in me today. I am a work in progress. I want to develop this skill so I will keep practicing. Keywords: nervous...
What’s an Anchor and How do You Use It?

An anchor is something you turn your attention toward in order to interrupt reactivity and access a non-reactive, expansive perspective. Though it doesn't make the reactivity go away, it allow you the internal space to choose to not behave from reactivity. In this practice exercise learn more about anchors, plus how to create and use them. Read this practice exercise Keywords: anchor self...
Beyond the Limits of Empathy

Can empathy serve as a reliable guide to action? David Brooks, in his recent article “The Limits of Empathy,” suggests that empathy is no guarantee that caring action will take place. Participants in Milgram’s famous 1950s experiments willingly inflicted what they thought were near-lethal electric shocks despite suffering tremendously. Nazi executors early in the war wept while killing Jews....
Teachers Expressing to Students and Colleagues

Ask the Trainer Dear Trainer, I just started teaching in a public school, and I can't say I'm enjoying the violence that teachers express towards children and their colleagues. There are, however, a couple of teachers in my building who sincerely believe in empathizing with children and respecting their needs. However, when I start talking about Nonviolent/Compassionate Communication (even if I...
Moralistic Judgments

Trainer Tip The greatest deception men suffer is from their own opinions. — Leonardo da Vinci Moralistic judgments imply that other people are wrong or bad because they don’t act in ways that are in harmony with our values. If you see someone driving faster than you think is safe, you might say that they are a maniac driver. If someone talks slower than is fun for you, you might say that they...
Integrating Inner And Outer

This exercise brings forth presence, awareness, and witnessing regarding what you observe. And also the inner form of experiencing: thinking, feeling, sensing, longing, and noticing any inner resistance. This exercise is designed to allow self-compassion to clear the inner space, and to help you feel it as a flow of energy, presence to the other, and bring in a more relaxed experience and more...
NVC Life Hacks 21

When was the last time you were in a situation with an overwhelming feeling of shame or an unnerving fear of 'doing it wrong'? Sometimes we get sweaty palms or a dry mouth, maybe we freeze on the spot or start an unhelpful internal monologue that makes the situation feel even worse. In this months NVC Life Hack Gesine takes a closer look at her own experience with shame and the fear of doing it...
Understanding Arguments Against NVC

Even those who practice NVC can repeat old patterns of thinking, believing, feeling, and behaving. If they do, but still use ‘NVC language’ others may think the issue is NVC rather than the person’s capacity. This week, notice even a small instance where someone is against something you suggest. To build trust and connection, experiment with offering empathy or asking them to share what they...
Understanding Judgments

Trainer Tip Do not judge and you will not be judged. For as you judge others, so you will yourselves be judged... —Matthew 7:1 Many of us have learned patterns of speaking that backfire. One of these is judging other people. Often, we do this to feel better about ourselves, and possibly to meet our own needs for acceptance and belonging, yet just the opposite happens. Whenever we judge someone...
Empathizing with Someone Who is Silent

Trainer Tip Empathize with silence by listening to the feelings and needs behind it./em> —Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D....