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NVC Resources on Feelings

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How to Use Positive Language When Making Requests

Yoram Mosenzon suggests that when we make positive language requests, we tell people what we want. We give them an image of what would make life more wonderful. What we usually do is tell people what we do not want. This tends to create resistance. For example: How do you feel when I say Stop asking me questions all of the time? What about if I say Would you be willing to write down your...
NVC Life Hacks 18

Giving feedback can be a difficult task, sometimes we try to avoid getting to the point and instead end up spending a long time attempting to communicate. We find there are mostly two types of feedback. The first focuses on what is wrong with the person's behaviour and tends to feel more judgemental whereas the second is values-based feedback, focusing on the needs of the people involved....
How To Understand Control

When someone behaves in a way that you may label convincing, cajoling, guilt-tripping, threatening, analyzing, or criticizing, you may be tempted to guess they have a "need" for control. Instead, name what this person is doing that isn't meeting your needs. If it is a true need your heart will have softened. If you feel resentment or resistance, you are likely making a judgment rather than...
What is Mine to Do?

How DO we live our lives? What is an effective response to what is happening in the world? Listen in as Miki dialogs with a participant asking, "What is mine to do?", and honors the dissonance we feel when working to change. This recording is from session 32 of Miki's 2020 program Responding to the Call of Our Times. Keywords: Miki Kashtan social change environment family vision purpose
Groups Tip Series: How Can I Support More Collaboration?

It seems to me that people see ideas which are different from theirs as threatening. Instead of listening, the group polarizes around the different ideas and a lot of judgments develop, conflicts develop and people feel hurt. Forward progress becomes a battle ground. How can I support more collaboration? Keywords: conflict resolution groups collaboration Group Facilitation Tips purpose...
Boundaries

Struggling to say "no"? Here are ways you change your adjacent mind patterns. First, note the differences between those who respect boundaries and those who often don't. Second, review situations in which you lost track of your choice. And rehearse what it would sound, look, and feel like if you kept connection to your choice. Third, seek validation of your experience - from a grounded and...
Safe Spaces and Confidentiality Agreements

How to create a safe space for a first time group working on power and privileges ? Roxy Manning, Phd, answers that question and goes deeper into exploring what does it mean to have a space space? Is it actually realistic? Roxy offers a distinction about safe space and holding confidentiality. She illustrates with a an example how to hold confidentiality and the questions you can ask group...