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NVC Resources on Feelings

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Using Anger as a Beacon

Trainer Tip Could we all just admit when we’re crabby? —Sark I used to be afraid of my anger because I didn’t know how to express it, and I had an underlying fear that once I opened the lid on it, I would overwhelm myself and the people in my life. Consequently, I rarely allowed myself to examine my anger. I have come to appreciate it because it tells me when something is up. In a sense, it...
Healing the Blame that Binds

Blame is the game that protects me from the understanding that the cause of all my emotional distress, fear, shame and guilt comes from the part of me I call "the inner voice." As long as I keep the big bony finger of blame pointed in your direction, I can remain unaware of the fact that it is what I am telling myself about your behavior that is stimulating my painful reactions. This lack of...
Practical Ideas to Keep Workplace Relationships Satisfying

Workplace relationships are complex. Each employee brings their unique self to work. Their background, perspective, emotional triggers, and working style. Add to this the dynamics of power relations, and the fact that often workplace communication now takes place at our computer keyboards rather than face-to-face. With all that we juggle in the workplace, it’s no wonder the stress of just...
Saying "No" in a Positive Way

Hearing "no" can bring emotional pain, but it can be delivered in a way that minimizes discomfort. We can find the gift in the request, express feelings and needs instead of saying "no," and offer an alternative solution that supports all parties. This approach fosters honesty, respect, and understanding, while setting boundaries if necessary to protect oneself. Clear communication reduces the...
Move in to Conflict - Don't Back Up!

Trainer Tip We have to understand in order to be of help. We all have pain, but we tend to suppress it because we don’t want it to come up to our living room. The most important thing is that we need to be understood. We need someone to be able to listen to us and to understand us. Then, we will suffer less. —Thich Nhat Hanh Have you ever noticed how often we back up when we find ourselves in a...
NVC Tools

In this introduction to Nonviolent Communication (NVC), Wes Taylor discusses the two basic aspects of NVC, the consciousness and the tools that help manifest the consciousness. By using his own examples and those put forth by participants, Wes touches on the following key differentiations of NVC: Needs vs. strategies Protective use of force vs. punitive use of force Requests vs. demands...
Tips for the Road Series Tip 7

Conflict is a normal and natural part of life. To varying degrees, it happens whenever two or more people consistently spend time together. Resolving conflict effectively and peacefully, in a way in which all parties feel respected and valued, does not feel natural for those of us who grew up with punitive, adversarial, or avoidant approaches to conflict. When conflict ignites, it can be...
10 Healthy Ways To Deal With Anger

There appears to be a lot of confusion about anger. Many people believe it is bad to get angry and/or that anger is something to be avoided at all costs. Anger has been viewed by many as a negative. This may be because we confuse unhealthy behavior (the result of what happens when anger is not dealt with in a healthy way) with the emotion. Anger is an emotion and it can be thought of as an...
Finding Common Ground in Challenging Times

Access this complete 4 session course Discover how to transform your life by aligning your actions with what matters most to you. David's 4-session course offers you practical, learnable skills that are crucial in today's world—skills like managing your moods, making decisive and values-driven choices, and building stronger relationships through grounded compassion. With a combination of...
Being Honest About Our Anger

Trainer Tip Few blame themselves until they have exhausted all other possibilities. —Anonymous When I am angry, it is likely that I am not getting something that I want and that I think I should get, and I am about to say something that will ensure I won’t get it. When we blame other people, we place ourselves in a dangerous position of not meeting our needs in that relationship. Instead, take...