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NVC Resources on Observation

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Facilitating Connection

each person will speak about what is alive in them about connecting requests, while others listen. When listening, do so silently and notice what you are connecting to, for example: present observation, feeling, need, request; past observation, feeling, need, request; or opinions past or current; something else. Speak only when you can reflect briefly (six or less words), for example: "so (need)...
Idiomatic vs. Formal Compassionate Communication

is new when an author expresses it in a manner peculiar to himself. —Marquis de Vauvenargues Do you sometimes feel awkward when you use the four components of Compassionate Communication (observation, feeling, need, request)? The four components are a tool to help people interact with others in a connected and compassionate manner. Formal use of the language is very valuable for people just...
Expressing Ourselves Honestly

Consider expressing yourself using the four steps of Compassionate Communication. Let’s say that you want to tell your partner that she talks more than you enjoy hearing. Step 1 is the observation: “Honey, when you talk for this long" Step 2 expresses a feeling: "I feel overwhelmed" Step 3 expresses a need: "because I need more time to integrate new information, and I just can’t let this much...
Making The Evolutionary Leap

Shared story has been a way for groups to unite in opposition to a common enemy. But more divergent and virulent beliefs/stories swirl through the internet, facilitating people to polarize against one another. So notice when you're caught in a polarizing story; try shifting focus to observing your mind; somatic presence; underlying commonality; consciousness as universal need, energy, and...
Workplace Series: Turning a Mandatory Meeting Into a Collaboration

questions that workshop participants were asked to consider coming into the session . Think of a situation in your workplace to which you would like to bring NVC. Describe the situation in pure observational terms. How do you imagine that NVC could contribute in this situation? Whose needs would be served? How? What are the obstacles you foresee to bringing NVC to this situation (e.g. someone...
Nonviolent Communication Circle of Life

"sacred circle" and has been used for centuries as a pictorial representation symbolizing wholeness, balance and harmony. ~ INNER CIRCLE ~ The four components of Nonviolent Communication – Observations, Feelings, Needs, and Requests – are at the heart of the mandala. The giraffe symbolizes our desire to keep our hearts open and stay connected to our compassionate nature. (Giraffes have the...
NVC Dialogue Lab

of entering, staying in and bowing out of the conversational dance, playing with real-life situations in our virtual communication “laboratory” using the Nonviolent Communication components of Observations, Feelings, Needs and Requests as the foundation. You will learn practical skills to: Overcome your fear of entering difficult dialogues Develop fluidity with NVC language Re-center and remain...
Tips for the Road Series Tip 6

which often leads them to deeper insights or connection It helps maintain connection during difficult dialogues Once the other person is satisfied you have understood them, then share your observations, feelings, needs, and requests, and ask them if they would be willing to tell you what they have heard you say. Keywords: empathy requests strategies contribution responsibility self...
Requests, the Fourth Component of Compassionate Communication

Tip We should not let our fears hold us back from pursuing our hopes. —John F. Kennedy Over the past few days, we have looked at the first three components of Compassionate Communication: observations, feelings, and needs. The fourth component is making a request. This component is critical because it clarifies for you and the people in your life what it would take to meet your need. Imagine...
Making Requests Count

is unique. And, if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and will be lost. —Martha Graham The first three components of the Nonviolent Communication process clarify our observations, feelings, and the needs we are trying to meet. The fourth component is to make a specific and doable request. The request completes the communication by stating specifically what we would like...