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NVC Resources on Requests

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Demands vs Requests

you think of a response other than succumbing or rebelling? This trainer tip is an excerpt from Mary Mackenzie's book, Peaceful Living, available from PuddleDancer Press. Keywords: Rebel Demand Requests Mary Mackenzie
The Timing of Making A Request

Trainer Tip ". . . Words are a form of action, capable of influencing change. Their articulation represents a complete, lived experience." —Ingrid Bengis It is important to keep a few things in mind when we make a request of someone. Make the request specific. If it seems vague to you, it will probably be vague to the other person. Make the request doable. If you want something that you don’t...
Taking Responsibility For Our Requests

to notice that people did exactly what I’d asked, and my needs still did not get met. This was the stage of my emotional recovery in which I became acutely aware of how important it is to design requests to fit specific needs. One time I wanted to ensure that I was heard, so I asked my friend how he felt about what I said. It was a clear request, but it didn’t meet my need for being heard. A...
Timing of a request

Trainer Tip ". . . Words are a form of action, capable of influencing change. Their articulation represents a complete, lived experience." ——Ingrid Bengis It is important to keep a few things in mind when we make a request of someone. It helps to make the request specific. If it seems vague to you, it will probably be vague to the other person. It also helps to make the request doable. If you...
Requests in a Moment of Reactivity

Here are 16 helpful requests you can make before you're swept up in your own reactivity. Read this article Keywords: reactivity requests connection requests pause boundaries argument conflict LaShelle Lowe-Chardé Elia Lowe Charde
Making Requests to Enrich Our Lives

lonely and I’m really missing our lovemaking. How would you feel about taking a couple of hours tonight and creating one of our famous long lovemaking sessions?” If he says no to either of these requests, consider brainstorming a different strategy that would meet both your needs. It isn’t a sign of weakness to clarify what you would like. It helps you commit to living a full and joyful life! Be...
Requests, the Fourth Component of Compassionate Communication

Trainer Tip We should not let our fears hold us back from pursuing our hopes. —John F. Kennedy Over the past few days, we have looked at the first three components of Compassionate Communication: observations, feelings, and needs. The fourth component is making a request. This component is critical because it clarifies for you and the people in your life what it would take to meet your need....
Making Requests Count

need to debate the timing of when the room is picked up, but it is clear to them what you are asking. When people know what you want, you have a better chance of meeting your needs. Make clear requests of people today, and notice if you are more successful at meeting your needs. This trainer tip is an excerpt from Mary Mackenzie's book, Peaceful Living, available from PuddleDancer Press....
Connecting Requests

In this insightful snippet from Sarah Peyton, discover how connecting requests can transform conversations into meaningful exchanges. Referred to as the "steering wheel" of NVC dialogue, connecting requests shift the focus from action to connection, creating clarity and understanding. Learn how to express yourself, ensure you’re understood, and check in with others without falling into the trap...
The Power of Making Requests

Mary Mackenzie explores the fourth component of Nonviolent Communication—making requests—and why it feels like “graduate level” NVC. Asking for what we truly want is vulnerable, yet it’s also a profound gift of honesty and connection in our relationships. With practice, compassion, and creativity, we can build the skills to make requests that deepen trust, foster understanding, and open new...