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Emergency Interventions for Escalating Arguments

Mid-conversation you may find yourself sliding into defending, shutting down, attacking, or blaming. Here's a list of possible emergency interventions that can help slow down escalation and return you to connection. Read this article Keywords: argument intervention deescalate reconnect connecting request reactivity LaShelle Lowe-Chardé Elia Lowe Charde
How to Ask for Responsiveness

If it's a tender topic and/or you are looking for a particular level of responsiveness, you can let listeners know what you want back before you share -- or you can ask them for a particular kind of response right after you share. The more you can do this, the more it can create supportive relationships in your life. Read on for ways to ask for a particular kind of responsiveness to meet...
Setting Boundaries with Reactivity

Tolerating reactivity, name-calling, blaming, guilt-tripping, or stonewalling can lead to resentment and hurt. Plus, the more you stay in a reactive dynamic, the more you are likely to reinforce the pattern. Setting life-serving boundaries around reactivity is about letting another know that you aren’t going to participate in that kinds of dynamics. This means knowing what helps with handling...
Nonviolent Communication Basics

Here are some very basic forms and distinctions of NVC. It covers the 4 D's, OFNR, some NVC distinctions, tips, quotes from Marshall Rosenberg, and "feelings and needs" lists, and more. As with any art, these rudiments necessarily must be learned, practiced, understood, embodied and then let go of so as not to become rote and block creativity.. Read this article Keywords: observation feeling...
Grounded Responses for Challenging Comments

When someone responds with painful sarcasm, criticism, or dismissal you can respond with empathy, or with clarity about your intention, need and request. If you're unable to do this, later you can privately write what they said, identify the feelings and needs of both of you, then write possible responses. This can help you remember to stay with your intention and what’s true for you without...
Working With Our Mixed “Yes”

For this exercise choose a situation in which you have said a “yes” to someone‛s request but you didn't experience your “yes” as given freely or joyfully. Then explore judgements, feelings, needs, and alternate strategies that come up in relation to your “yes”, your “no”, and in relation to what the other person might be experiencing. Read this practice exercise Keywords: mixed yes yes behind...
Saying "No" in a Positive Way

Hearing "no" can bring emotional pain, but it can be delivered in a way that minimizes discomfort. We can find the gift in the request, express feelings and needs instead of saying "no," and offer an alternative solution that supports all parties. This approach fosters honesty, respect, and understanding, while setting boundaries if necessary to protect oneself. Clear communication reduces the...
Basic NVC Overview, Teachings and Principles

Explore the core teachings and principles of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) to foster collaboration, mutual respect, and to connect across differences. NVC emphasizes connecting through universal needs, honest expression, and compassionate listening—creating space for understanding, and meaningful human connection. Read this article Keywords: observation evaluation OFNR feelings needs request...
Find Agency With “Falling Out of Love”

the relationship. If you think your partner should act in a certain way, you might start making demands or complaining, and lose connection with your own needs and the ability to make clear requests. The sense of "falling out of love" is an important warning sign that lets you know that something is interfering with your connection to yourself and your beloved. When you notice this warning sign,...
Making Sure We Are Heard

Trainer Tip Love involves a peculiar unfathomable combination of understanding and misunderstanding. —Diane Arbus Isn’t it amazing how people can witness the same thing, but interpret it differently? I used to marvel at this, get into arguments about how others didn’t hear things correctly, or feel angry because I thought they weren’t being honest. Now, I accept the fact that we all hear things...