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NVC Resources on Self Empathy

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NVC Life Hacks 24

Welcome to the final video in our 3 part Embodied NVC Life Hack series. So far we've learnt about rewiring our brain from a flight, fright or freeze reaction to the choice of self-empathy, allowing us to centre and check-in with ourselves. In part two, Empathy Skills, we went beyond self-empathy to look at ways we can empathise with the other person. In this final installment, we create a...
Love Without Conditions, Control or Coercion

anyone improve or create outstanding relationships with others. The critical first step is creating a giving, loving relationship with yourself. Discover how to use "high-octane empathy and self-empathy" to overcome the four great "love-enders," and how to create environments where your partner's self-acceptance can thrive. Through compelling real-life stories, humor and engaging theory, Kelly...
Everyday Parenting Challenges

they build lifelong relationships with their children upon a foundation of trust and connection. Ingrid points out that there are three options for parents in any dialogue: Self-connection / self-empathy — connecting with the parent’s deep underlying needs Empathy for the other person/child — holding both the child and parent’s needs as precious Honest Expression — Using the classical NVC model...
NVC and Inner Relationship Focusing

with what is alive NVC expression uses the model of Observation, Feeling, Need and Request IRF expression uses presence language as the container for what is arising inside NVC explores self-empathy IRF explores Self-in-Presence = acknowledging and accompanying what is present, not merging or becoming NVC = I feel angry IRF = I'm sensing something in me that feels angry NVC - the companion...
Developing Discernment

Jori Manske share their understanding of discernment to gain clarity, insight, and wisdom for making life-serving distinctions and choices. Discernment Exercise: Using the "Four Choices" for Self-Empathy Once each day, write down a message you found difficult to hear... Imagine receiving the message and then internally responding with each of these choices: 1. Judgmental (Jackal) Ears Out Voice...
Tips for the Road Series Tip 3

feelings and needs, and without fully considering the feelings and needs of others affected by my decision. Whenever possible, I suggest you slow down when making important decisions and do NVC self-empathy—connect to your feelings and needs (“Let me think about it,” is a handy response when asked to decide something important). Even better, find someone who knows how to give you NVC empathy....
Tips for the Road Series Tip 4

love) you all the same if it doesn't work for you to do this." Of course, even when inviting people to say no, it might be difficult to hear a no. What helps me hear a no is empathy, whether self-empathy or empathy from another. It also helps me to remember that when someone says no, they are really saying yes to other needs. In other words, the no is not about me; it's about that person taking...
Tips for the Road Series Tip 7

founder of Nonviolent Communication, tells an inspiring story of a fellow who really wanted to take more responsibility for his anger during conflict. He wrote very clear and simple steps for self-empathy on a card and then carried that card in his wallet so it was always easy to access when he became angry. Then, whenever he got angry, he would pull out that card and follow the steps. By using...
Tips for the Road Series Tip 8

it is tempting to practice NVC mostly with the left hemisphere of the brain, thinking through the steps quickly without slowing down to connect more deeply with feelings and needs. If you do self-empathy mainly with the left hemisphere, you will miss an opportunity to integrate the hemispheres of the brain and the valuable information from the neural networks in the heart and gut. I encourage...
Tips for the Road Series Tip 13

Make friends with your creativity, your loneliness, your emotions, your body, and all aspects of yourself • Develop your capacity for self-nurturing • Discover the gifts of solitude • Practice self-empathy or other self-attunement processes so you can become more and more unconditionally present and accepting of your thoughts, emotions, needs, and body • Turn off the TV, computer, phone, put...