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NVC Resources on Attention

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10 Healthy Ways To Deal With Anger

of what happens when anger is not dealt with in a healthy way) with the emotion. Anger is an emotion and it can be thought of as an alarm or signal. It informs and warns that something needs attention. When anger is viewed in this manner it becomes something that is very beneficial. Like when you are driving your car and the check engine light goes off on the dashboard. The light alerts you that...
How to Open Your Holiday Presence

Before painful situations arrive, you can build resources that will enable you to bounce back more quickly. You can have more balance, perspective and choice by training yourself to include attention on needs that are satisfied and by deeply enjoying the life-enriching feelings that naturally arise. In this telecourse recording, you will learn and practice self-awareness skills to fine tune your...
Meeting Our Need for Honesty

whether we are living in ways that meet our need for honesty. And we each decide whether someone else’s actions meet it. Try not to spend so much time seeking the truth. Instead focus more attention on whether your need for honesty has been met. When it is, you can live more freely. Be aware today of whether you are meeting your need for honesty. This trainer tip is an excerpt from Mary...
When It’s Hard For Us To Express Our Needs

need for support, but my request sounded like a demand, and it was difficult for people to want to contribute to my life. I gradually became able to grieve for all the years that I hadn’t paid attention to my needs and I increasingly believed that my needs would be met, so I could release much of the charge behind my requests. I don’t regret the initial stages of learning these concepts or...
How Anger Can Help or Hinder

We can use anger as an important signal to let us know that we perceive a threat to a universal need or value, directing our attention to something so that we can take effective action, and avoid harmful thought patterns. For example, instead of dwelling on a "should," focus on addressing unmet needs through boundaries and effective communication. Anger is an important signaling system letting...
Using an Anchor in Self-Empathy

helps you get a little bit bigger than the reactivity you are experiencing so that you can access a wiser discernment. It is simple, and can be done anytime and anywhere. Learn to direct your attention to develop your anchor in self-empathy. Read this article Keywords: anchor reactivity presence attention self empathy self compassion trigger responsibility choice practice LaShelle Lowe-Chardé...
Practicing Unconditional Self-Acceptance When I Want Change

rather than immediately acting to make a change, Robert suggests we practice unconditional self-acceptance through a spacious presence to our inner experience. Robert asks us to give our attention and spacious awareness to our own judgments, inner contractions, and other experiences we often regard as undesirable. Keywords: Robert Gonzales self acceptance presence transformation judgment...
Inoculation For Outrage

When outraged or resigned over polarized issues, pause to ask yourself who may be benefiting from this conflict? What are we not paying attention to that’s even more important? What matters most? Am I being distracted away from something more important? What do I really want? Where can I choose to focus attention and action for the wellbeing of all life on the planet (which is also my wellbeing...
Uncertainty, Human Limitations, and Acceptance

is familiar to many. We each have our own peculiar ways of responding in such moments. My own habitual response became clearer to me than before this call. Simply put, I have been putting attention and energy, mind and heart, on understanding how the unwelcome result happened, and what can be learned to prevent it in the future. This kind of focus is one of the deepest sources of stress for me:...
The Cause of Our Feelings

pain" or "sweet pain") and suffering (i.e. anger, guilt, shame, depression, anxiety, etc.) — and that suffering is created by our thinking and pure/natural pain comes (is caused) when my full attention is focused on my needs. The question was also asked, "Aren't our needs ultimately created by our thoughts and perceptions anyway?" I hear in this question an appreciation for how at even the pure...