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NVC Resources on Compassion

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Getting Past Childhood Trauma

profound transformation of the inner jackal messages resulting from childhood trauma. Discover how the limbic system of the brain works, and transform jackal messages stored there with compassionate connection. Through engaging instruction and live exploration of real experiences, learn to: Transform any "unlivable contracts" you have made with yourself Compassionately manage your reactive...
Tips on Making a Request

they simply cannot do, such as asking a person to write a thirty-page report in an evening, or your partner to bring in the garbage can if he’ll be out of town. When you make a request in a compassionate relationship, everyone’s needs are considered and valued equally. The final tip is to get into the habit of making requests. Everyone wants to give and receive compassionately. Don’t you enjoy...
Understanding I’m Not Responsible for Another's Feelings

in each other, acknowledging and respecting each others' needs, and leaving the conversation feeling satisfied. The two basic options we have whenever we are in dialogue with another person are compassionate honesty (sharing our own truth) and empathy (listening from the heart to another's truth). In this situation, you might begin with compassionate honesty: "Girlfriend, when I hear you say...
Nonviolent Communication Circle of Life

of Nonviolent Communication – Observations, Feelings, Needs, and Requests – are at the heart of the mandala. The giraffe symbolizes our desire to keep our hearts open and stay connected to our compassionate nature. (Giraffes have the largest heart of the land mammals – 26 lbs!) Their height is a symbol for keeping a big perspective in order to see each person’s circumstances and needs. Staying...
NVC as a Strategy

I am in the opinion of others as what I am in my own; I would be rich of myself, and not by borrowing. —Michel Eyquem de Montaigne Human needs are universal and strategies are specific. Well, Compassionate Communication is a process, but also a strategy. The needs I try to meet by living and teaching this process are harmony, peace, fun, love, safety, joy, and deeper connection to my life. The...
Expressing Ourselves Honestly

relationship? If you bottle it up, you will begin to resent the other person, so being honest is the best way to maintain the relationship. Consider expressing yourself using the four steps of Compassionate Communication. Let’s say that you want to tell your partner that she talks more than you enjoy hearing. Step 1 is the observation: “Honey, when you talk for this long" Step 2 expresses a...
MLK, Nonviolence, and Communication

in India, transcendentalist philosophers, and many of the greatest leaders and spiritual teachers of history. “Nonviolence” is not just a political tactic. It is a “soul force,” a courageous and compassionate stand in the face of what seems to us unjustly unequal, oppressive, and violent. It is the force of love meeting and transforming what appears to not be love. How do we bring this spirit of...
Sexual Expression

In Mindful Compassionate Dialogue, discerning the difference between a universal need and a strategy to meet that need can mean the difference between staying stuck or getting unstuck in a conflict. Let's look at a simple example. If you believe your need for peace is the same as time alone, you can only meet your need for peace if you get alone time. Getting regular alone time is a popular...
Speaking Classical Giraffe

communication. Stage 2: You are able to identify jackal communication, and can see the harmful consequences of it and you are aware that you do not have the skills to consistently communicate compassionately. Stage 3: You develop skills in NVC, and intentionally and deliberately use NVC language with others. Although you "do it right" by expressing your observations, feelings, needs and requests...
Parenting from Your Heart - Q&A

especially her pioneering vision and work supporting parents in raising new nonviolent generations, her down-to-earth way of bringing NVC principles into everyday parenting, and the depth of compassion she lavished on parents and children alike. To Inbal's family, we send our love and compassionate hearts for your grief. To dear Inbal, we send our love and deepest gratitude for how you graced...