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NVC Resources on Connection

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Speaking Up Is an Expression of Love

up for myself meets my needs for love and respect. When I’m honest with the people in my life, I demonstrate my love and respect for them. I show that I value the relationship and I want our connection to continue. For today, speak up the minute you start to feel annoyed, hurt, disappointed, or angry to demonstrate your love for yourself and the other person. This trainer tip is an excerpt from...
The Compass - Taking Responsibility in the Face of Guilt and Judgment

in-depth transformational process – is specifically designed to support you in reliably deepening your understanding of your own and others' conditioning, and finding ways to reclaim your full connection with yourself. Not only does this process enable you to heal the wearying, unending struggle between you and yourself, it also helps you get "unstuck" so you can finally move beyond old...
The Compass

complete 8 session course The Compass is specifically designed to support you in reliably deepening your understanding of your own and others' conditioning, and finding ways to reclaim your full connection with yourself. Not only does this process enable you to heal the wearying, unending struggle between you and yourself, it also helps you get "unstuck" so you can finally move beyond old...
The Compass - Awakening to the Journey from You to Yourself

in-depth transformational process – is specifically designed to support you in reliably deepening your understanding of your own and others' conditioning, and finding ways to reclaim your full connection with yourself. Not only does this process enable you to heal the wearying, unending struggle between you and yourself, it also helps you get "unstuck" so you can finally move beyond old...
Going Deep

is that between Needs and Strategies. Needs are universal; they never refer to a specific person performing any specific action. They are the conditions necessary for any person to thrive: love, connection, creative expression, choice as to our goals and the path to achieve them, intimacy, consideration, meaning, and so on. Strategies are the ways we go about meeting Needs. We get in trouble...
Perceiving Reality

us in public. Instead, we choose to think that the situation isn’t that bad. When we try to make another person fit into a reality that we prefer in order to meet our own needs—whether for love, connection, or financial security—everyone suffers. Instead, bring your focus back to yourself. Notice which of your needs are met or unmet when you spend time with someone. Don’t judge them; just focus...
Needs Analysis

themselves. The next exercise was to identify everything we did to meet that need. Without exception, all of us did things that kept us from meeting our most important need. Mine was a need for connection, yet I actively kept people at bay. I was disheartened to realize that I had spent my life making it impossible to meet this need. Then the trainer said: “But wait. It’s okay. Nonviolent...
Choosing Whom We Empathize With

to, pain can answer our most crucial questions, even those we did not consciously frame." —Marilyn Ferguson I have learned that empathizing with some people does not meet my own needs for connection, rest, or joy. This may be because my own needs are so great or because I have other, more pressing needs than can be met through empathy. One of the basic philosophies of Nonviolent Communication is...
Nothing but the Facts

and we end up creating a whole big drama for nothing. —Don Miguel Ruiz Observation free of judgment, evaluation, or a story about why somebody said or did something is critical to creating a connection with others and maintaining a Nonviolent Communication consciousness. There is often a large gap between what we experience and the story we make up about it. Imagine you see someone driving down...
Stimulus vs. Cause

Consider what can happen when a dear friend punches you in the arm as a greeting. You might be happy to see him and you enjoy the punch in the arm because your needs include fun, friendship, and connection. On another day, this same friend gives you a punch on the arm. You are still happy to see him, but your arm had been injured the day before, so the punch stimulates pain. In this case, you...