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What to do When Racial Oppression and Privilege Collide

For over 10 years I ran a retreat to bring together members of the Global Majority* and white people. The intention was to help people from both groups learn ways they could show up and come together to combat racism. In one session, my co-trainer - a Latino man - shared a story about his experience of the police when he was a teenager. He and his brother had been stopped while driving home....
Poetic License

Poetic License is a fun group exercise that's sure to incite laughter in your NVC group! (This game originated from Doug Dolstad) Instructions: In a group circle, everyone has a piece of notebook paper. Everyone writes an "observation" phrase across the top of the page ("When I see/hear _______"); and folds the paper over so that what they have written is hidden. Each person passes their paper...
Transforming Power Relations

Nonviolent Communication provides specific tools to empower ourselves and others to live more in line with our values and deeper needs. When we do that, we become more effective in relating to ourselves, other faculty, and staff, and we can contribute more to students’ ability to feel connected and energized. “NVC is wonderful and I can see how much it can enhance my personal life,” said...
Getting Out of Ourselves

Trainer Tip If you want to be listened to, you should put in time listening. —Marge Piercy I spent most of my life obsessing about myself and my needs. I thought I was a caring person, but I rarely contributed to anyone else’s life unless it was convenient for me. I had a mentor once who told me that I spent too much time thinking about my own comfort and not enough time considering other...
Change Happens

Trainer Tip We must always change, renew, rejuvenate ourselves; otherwise we harden. —Goethe I used to think that people were supposed to feel and show little emotion. So I set out to be “even,” as I put it. I thought the best way to achieve this was to be “stable,” which to me meant to stagnate. I felt joy about things only for a short while. Then I wondered if I would ever be happy and if I...
Noticing What Is Important

Trainer Tip "A caress is better than a career." —Elisabeth Marbury I woke up one day and I realized that I had a lucrative career in higher education. I was paid a good salary and I had attained some freedom and a good reputation. I also had very few friends, was in little contact with my family, and wasn’t in a significant relationship. Most of my life was devoted to my career. Then I began to...
Making Sure We Are Heard

Trainer Tip Love involves a peculiar unfathomable combination of understanding and misunderstanding. —Diane Arbus Isn’t it amazing how people can witness the same thing, but interpret it differently? I used to marvel at this, get into arguments about how others didn’t hear things correctly, or feel angry because I thought they weren’t being honest. Now, I accept the fact that we all hear things...
Mediating with a Group

Trainer Tip "I find the great thing in this world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving." —Goethe When you mediate a group conflict, the principles of listening for needs are the same as with one-on-one conflicts. Start the mediation by telling everyone that the group will not begin looking at strategies until everyone’s needs have been heard. Dedicate the first...
It’s All About Please and Thank You

Trainer Tip "We want facts to fit the preconceptions. When they don’t, it is easier to ignore the facts than to change the preconceptions" —Jessamyn West If I told you that every communication is either a please or a thank you, would you believe me? This was an enormous revelation to me. Think about the please behind a neighbor’s words when he says, “What will it take for you to keep your...
Embracing Leadership within Yourself

Access this complete 4 session course Join Miki as she covers a lot of territory, defining leadership, helping us lead when we're not in the leadership chair, showing us how to have power in every moment and engage our fear instead of let it run us. Get some powerful leadership tools you can put to use today. What does it really mean to take leadership of your own inner life? In simplest terms,...