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NVC Resources on Anger

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The Mobilizing Power of Anger

Anger can result in violence or in a movement towards positive change. We can see this happen in the push for racial justice. When you perceive anger as a form of violence your nervous system becomes activated. Your perspective narrows and old conditioning can take over leading to overwhelm, defensiveness, hatred, or violence. Read on for four ways to to respond to our own or others' anger in a...
Working With Anger

Fully connecting to the deeper need under the anger can transform and release the anger, without requiring the other person to do anything differently. From there, you can reach an understanding of the other person's experience, feelings and needs underlying the actions that stimulated your anger to re-establish connection with your own and the other person's humanity. Read this practice...
Self-Righteous Anger

of your behaviors ensure that your needs for peace and relief won’t be met? Take judgments for instance. The more we have, the less peaceful and happy we feel. The same is true for resentment and anger. Don’t you just feel awful when you are filled with them? How does feeling that way meet your needs for peace and relief? Sometimes I think we are seduced by self-righteous anger, but it’s an...
Express Anger with Responsibility

Anger can bring in judgment and blame. Instead, use anger and frustration to identify what’s important and express what matters to you in a collaborative way. Read this article Keywords: anger frustration self responsibility LaShelle Lowe-Chardé Elia Lowe Charde
Using Anger as a Beacon

Trainer Tip Could we all just admit when we’re crabby? —Sark I used to be afraid of my anger because I didn’t know how to express it, and I had an underlying fear that once I opened the lid on it, I would overwhelm myself and the people in my life. Consequently, I rarely allowed myself to examine my anger. I have come to appreciate it because it tells me when something is up. In a sense, it...
The Importance of Anger

Anger matters because it can let you know that you perceive a threat to universal need for yourself or someone else. It can draw your attention to something so that you can take effective action. Anger becomes a hindrance when you amp it up with your thoughts about what should(n't) happen. Instead, notice any "should" thoughts, see anger as a signal, accept that it's okay to have it, and look...
Being Honest About Our Anger

that I am not getting something that I want and that I think I should get, and I am about to say something that will ensure I won’t get it. When we blame other people, we place ourselves in a dangerous position of not meeting our needs in that relationship. Instead, take a deep breath and don’t say anything. While taking this breath, quietly acknowledge to yourself your unmet needs and feelings...
Interventions For Anger

Anger is a sign that you're resisting what's happening because you perceive an overwhelming threat, not trusting yourself to handle what's happening directly. Vulnerable feelings under anger are usually fear, hurt, or grief. Experiencing and expressing these feelings and connecting them to your needs, gives you access to more skill, insight, compassion, and wisdom. Read on for 3 questions to...
Healing And Dissolving Chronic Anger

It can seem like anger protects you. But it's your ability to name your needs, honor your range of feelings, and act on your needs that keeps you healthy and safe. When you remain present for an emotion and allow it to flow, it'll last just over a minute and dissolve, making room for the next layer of experience. Practice noticing any anger you have, without resistance. Set up self-empathy or...
Using Anger as a Warning

Trainer Tip Act nothing in a furious passion. It’s putting to sea in a storm. —Thomas Fuller, M.D. If you are feeling anger, you are experiencing an unmet need. When you recognize it as a warning signal, it can be a life-serving tool. There is no hard and fast rule that we must instantly react to our anger. Nor is there a statute of limitations on expressing it. So, rather than react to your...