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NVC Resources on Anger

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Motivation Through Joy

convinced this was my new career, and I drove seventy-five miles each way twice a week for three years to earn a degree in Practical Horse Management. I worked my tail off without resentment or anger because it was something I wanted to do; I was motivated by joy. In the end, I decided that kind of work wasn’t for me, but I had become so excited about college that I went on for bachelor’s and...
Self-Empathy Regulation Process

with any emotions that arise. Stay with your breath too, as well as any expression that wants to continue. Often there is sadness that comes up as we get in touch with our needs, other times it’s anger or fear. Embrace and express whatever feelings and sensations and needs arise. Breathe into and through them. Let your body move how it wants to move. Once the emotions settle, explore all of the...
Choice vs. Submission Or Rebellion

there may be consequences for these actions. We may not help our cause and we may give our power away to others. Even if we appear to attain something in this manner there is usually resentment, anger, and pain on the other side. Rebelling does not lead to the best result or the betterment of all. It is helpful to note that Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr. did not submit or rebel. They found a...
Making A Connection In A Difficult Situation

like to reconsider. I’m open to changing my plans if we can create a vacation that works for both of us. Would you be willing to brainstorm this with me for a few minutes?” “Sure.” Within moments, anger is defused and the opportunity exists to create a solution that will value both people’s needs. It’s miraculous. Be aware of opportunities to defuse conflicts by reflecting the feelings and needs...
Resistance

most of us are not going to make such sacrifices or reach such heights of realization, but we don’t have to decide that ahead of time. We can just take one step at a time, transforming our fear, anger and judgments into empathy and compassion, and bring as much awareness as we can to what we are supporting through our communication and our actions, continually asking ourselves what more can we...
Control

Am I willing to dissolve into connection with the wild energy of universal Need, let nature run free, focus on participation, mutuality, and contribution? When I’m feeling powerful anxiety or anger and the desire to control, can I let go and expand into a wider field of connection and the gift of Request, of giving and receiving beyond separateness and the separate self To go deeper into ideas...
Denying Our Needs

better place if we’re unhappy. The best hope for peace is for every person to notice what they need and to work actively to meet their needs. This alone will dramatically diminish the frustration, anger, judgments, and violence in our world. Today, decide to be yourself and meet your genuine needs. This trainer tip is an excerpt from Mary Mackenzie's book, Peaceful Living, available from...
Healing Deep Inner Wounds

the open, into the light. When we don't do this the pain continues to fester and infect our life. It may manifest itself in hatred, resentments, discrimination, revenge, selfishness, rudeness, anger, etc. It becomes evident to all that we have a problem. Henry Nouwen writes in his book The Inner Voice of Love, "There are two extremes to avoid: being completely absorbed in your pain and being...
Liberty and Justice for All?

and for those who cling to the mythology. I also struggle for empathy with how the objectification, implicit biases, and seduction of privilege live inside of me. I at times cycle between intense anger and despairing disillusionment with all of humanity. And then, as I struggle to find the words to write to you, a Shakespeare love sonnet fills my mind and heart: “… Yet in these thoughts my self...
Parenting for Connection

with their child. It is not uncommon for “should” statements to follow. Whenever we feel angry, there is a “should” statement close by. “Should” statements and moralistic judgments produce anger and when verbalized produce alienation, resistance and resentment. But when we focus on the child’s feelings and needs and ask, “What is my child feeling and needing?” we open the door to understanding...