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NVC Resources on Blame

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Winning the Blame Game

Jim and Jori Manske offer insight into blame, how it arises and how do we handle being blamed and our own blame of others. This session includes exercises that will help you transform blame into connection and resolution. This recording is from the Taste of Compassionate Leadership monthly videoconference. Keywords: empathy exercises/practices feelings honesty observation presence strategies...
From Blame To Power

Blame is opaque when we don’t reflect on it deeply. We blame when we don’t see ourselves as having power to shape things, and see others as the ones who can. Blame and how we respond to it, is both a symptom of inability to step into power, and an impediment to empowered relationships. Transforming blame requires self-responsibility. Read on for practices involving empathy, inner connection,...
Healing the Blame that Binds

Blame is the game that protects me from the understanding that the cause of all my emotional distress, fear, shame and guilt comes from the part of me I call "the inner voice." As long as I keep the big bony finger of blame pointed in your direction, I can remain unaware of the fact that it is what I am telling myself about your behavior that is stimulating my painful reactions. This lack of...
Moving From Blame to Self-Responsibility

all been trained to focus on fault and punishment when needs are not met. What can we do to shift that pattern? Until we actually know that we’re triggered and that we are under the seduction of blame, we will have no room to maneuver. Releasing blame requires moving towards self-responsibility and having the willingness to take ownership of our needs and reactions. What does it take to get to...
Expressing Our Pain Without Blame

The more we can stay present with our hurt, and own our interpretations, we are more likely to express what's important to us without blame and also to become resilient. From there, the listener can have more space to offer their full presence and empathy. Read on for more. Read this article Keywords: jealousy blame self responsibility fault hurt Miki Kashtan
Blame, Responsibility, And Care

One NVC principle is "stimulus vs cause" - our may be the stimulus but never the cause of another's feelings. When we're upset this principle can help us express pain without blame. However, when others are upset it's easy to slip into blaming them using this principle. Instead, we can hear their pain with care and heartfelt mourning - without guilt nor defensiveness, and whether or not we...
Replacing Blame With Compassion For Impact

Blame is a misguided habit used to avoid pain and suffering, offering only a momentary distraction and oversimplifies complex histories. It also disconnects us from choice and agency, blocks us from discovering more about ourselves and others, and can keep us from having compassionate, self responsible conversations. Instead, we can practice speaking in terms of impact and notice our experience...
Without Judgment or Blame

focusing on an exploration of needs, offering information on how the term was chosen and the practical nature of the process the term represents. Keywords: connection inspiration personal growth blame judgment Introduction to NVC Bridget Belgrave
How the 'Stimulus or Cause' Principle Relates to Blame, Anger & Violence

needs in the moment. What happens is simply the stimulus. In order to maintain serenity in our life, it is important to understand this distinction. Be aware today of times when you are tempted to blame other people for your feelings, and try to discover your unmet needs. This trainer tip is an excerpt from Mary Mackenzie's book, Peaceful Living, available from PuddleDancer Press. Keywords:...
Living in the Observation as a Daily Practice

parking place. I looked both ways and waited for a car to go by and then pulled out of my parking space and I nearly side-swiped the lady’s car. The very same lady! In each case, I apologized and blamed myself. Then, on my way home, I started to blame her. Do you ever find yourself ruminating on your judgments and trying to place blame? Has this behavior ever relieved your anxiety or angst over...