Browse by Topic

NVC Resources on Blame

Search Terms:

Advanced Search

Select Media Type, Click Search

Transforming Needs Into Compassionate Connection

Iris Bawidamann explains how needs, like appreciation, can easily turn into demands or self-blame when approached from a place of lack or expectation. Instead of blaming others for not meeting our needs or harshly demanding fulfillment from ourselves, living compassion invites us to gently embrace and connect with the essence of our needs. By tuning into the feeling and meaning of appreciation...
Choosing Your Response

respond to someone, even when they say things that are hard to hear. If someone says to you, “You shouldn’t have done that, it was inappropriate,” consider your four options. The first one is to blame the speaker. “What do you know about what’s appropriate? You are the last person who should be talking to me about appropriate!” The second option is to blame yourself. “Oh he’s right. I shouldn’t...
Enriching Life

from the heart. —Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D. In Compassionate Communication, we believe that enriching life is the most satisfying motivation for our actions. If you are motivated by fear, guilt, blame or shame, your actions will usually be motivated by avoiding pain. The best way to experience permanent, lifelong change is to focus on how your life will improve when you make a change. For...
Four Ways to Hear Any Message

the choices you have when you receive someone’s communication today. This trainer tip is an excerpt from Mary Mackenzie's book, Peaceful Living, available from PuddleDancer Press. Keywords: Judge Blame Self criticism Shame Empathy Presence Choice Mary Mackenzie
How To Deal With Difficult People

trust you can go fishing for their feelings and needs. You can help them by asking, "Are you feeling _____ because you need ______?" The Jackal - To talk to the jackal (someone who criticizes, blames and judges others) you can start by fishing for their feelings and needs as well. You can ask, "Are you feeling _____ because you are needing _______? By doing this you change their focus. Now they...
Engage Your Curiosity

we had agreed last week to buy a Honda, so I’d like clarity. Do you have different information that has caused you to change your mind about buying one?” Notice that this statement doesn’t place blame on either party. It simply expresses your confusion and your desire for more information. Usually, the minute we ask for more information, we get it. It’s simple, really. We can either wonder about...
Taking Responsibility for Meeting Our Needs

This trainer tip suggests ways to transform blame in to personal power. He suggests having multiple sources of support and multiple pathways to achieving the outcome you want, to allow more room to hear a "no". Read on for more. Read this article Keywords: blame self responsibility expectations meeting needs trainer tip Eddie Zacapa
Taking 100% Responsibility for Every Relationship

Access this complete 4 session course When relationships falter, our habitual response is either to blame the other person (sadly frequent) or to blame ourselves. If only one or the other of us did something “right,” then the relationship would be different… Whoever you blame, the act of blaming leaves you in the victim position and unable to have the relationship you want. Taking 100%...
Healing Deep Inner Wounds

Denis Diderot said, "We swallow greedily any lie that flatters us, but we sip only little by little at a truth that we find bitter." The second way we can choose to deal with pain is to blame others for our pain. When we do this we build resentments (add more twigs to the pile) and build a wall between us and others. The third way people can deal with pain is to become consumed with their pain....
Life-Alienating Communication

of your life affects all other parts." —Gloria Karpinski We have all learned patterns of speech that keep us separate from other people. These patterns can look like judgments, criticisms, and blame, and they are prevalent in our society. In each case, the speaker separates herself from the listener by preoccupying herself with moralistic judgments. She categorizes others as good or bad, right...