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NVC Resources on Conflict

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Transforming Complaint

Trainer Tip NVC-based social change naturally emerges from “a certain kind of spirituality”, a quality of spiritual clarity. Intuitions and impulses arising from spiritual clarity are more likely to support sustainable systems. 0. Zero Step: refine your spiritual clarity: Do you intend to connect in the service of compassionate giving and receiving? Are your Present, Aware? Focused on “From Now...
When Hearing A No

Trainer Tip Do not weep; do not wax indignant. Understand. —Baruch Spinoza Persisting is when we actively attempt to meet our needs by continuing to connect with another person. Demanding is when we insist that someone do something, or else there will be negative repercussions. Say you ask your teenage son to mow the lawn this afternoon, and he says: “Oh Mom! I wanted to play ball with the...
Getting Beyond Our Judgments So We May Connect

Trainer Tip He who can not forgive others breaks the bridge over which he must pass himself. —George Herbert Any time we enter a conversation harboring ill will or judgment about the other person, we are part of the problem. How can we truly connect with another if we simultaneously think he is bad, wrong, or evil? It is important to remember that all actions are attempts to meet needs. People...
Supporting a Culture of Collaboration

Access this complete 4 session course One person cannot singlehandedly transform a culture and make it more collaborative, no matter how much you dedicate yourself to it. Transforming organizational culture requires attention and change at the systemic level. Learn which systems are crucial for any organization to establish and clarify whether that organization is collaborative or not, and then...
Empathic Listening Does Not Work Unless it is Empathic Listening

About 15 years ago I had regular interactions with an acquaintance of mine of whom I had lots of enemy images and judgements, and our interactions were not easy. Life moved on in a way that we nowadays barely meet briefly every few years, yet I still remember a piece of wisdom that he articulated then, and I only started to appreciate lately. In the midst of complex and emotionally charged...
I See the Spirit in You

Trainer Tip The heart of him who truly loves is a paradise on earth; he has God in himself, for God is love. —Felicité Robert de Lamennais When we see others as spiritual beings, we connect to their divine energy. I have believed this for years. But for many of those years, I would forget the Spirit in another person if we were in conflict. To know that a person is a spiritual being, but then...
Nonviolent Facilitation as a Path to the Future

Access this complete 3 session course What does nonviolence have to do with group facilitation? Miki believes that nonviolence is a way of being and living that orients us in all our thoughts, words and deeds toward the integration of truth, love and courage. All nonviolent individual and collective actions are aimed at preserving what serves life and challenging what does not. Facilitation is...
I Want To Connect More Than I Want To Be Right

Trainer Tip There is a place where words are born of silence, A place where the whispers of the heart arise. —Rumi What do you value most? I value connection more than anything. If I connect with people, all of us have a better chance of getting our needs met. The alternative is to try to win or be right. I used to do this with a vengeance. Years ago, I was working with a woman who was learning...
I Want to Repair a Relationship, But I am Scared

Miki Kashtan hosts Living Room Radio Show on KPFA Radio 94.1FM in Berkeley, California, USA. Listen as she works with a mother who is experiencing a strained relationship with her recently married daughter after a verbal “attack” from the daughter. Miki guides the caller to connect with her feelings of fear and her needs for ease of connection, and to further connect with her daughter’s needs....
Recovering from Reactivity Series

Join Jim and Jori Manske in this thought experiment exercise designed to: Train ourselves to become aware of the presence of conflict Engage in a perspective broader than our habitual reactive patterns Engage our curiosity to remain open Connect to our own needs in a reactive situation {attachment:all} Keywords: exercises/practices feelings observation presence strategies personal growth self...