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NVC Resources on Conflict

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Living in the Observation as a Daily Practice

Everything someone does or says is an attempt to meet a need …. Really? The other day, I was in a gathering and I ran into a woman two times. What I mean is, I looked up and she was right there and we were standing so close that I was startled. After an hour at this event, I was pulling out of my parking place. I looked both ways and waited for a car to go by and then pulled out of my parking...
How To Deal With Difficult People

Sometimes it may be difficult to talk to someone who is criticizing, judging, or blaming you. It may be just as difficult to deal with someone who is giving you the silent treatment, giving you the cold shoulder or just plain throwing a tantrum. So, here are some tips on how to deal with those difficult people who have a hard time communicating what they want to say in a loving and kind way....
Mindful Inquiry

These mindful inquiry exercises and tips are for enhancing self-empathy, and empathy for others. Using emotions and needs card decks provided, learn to reflect and enhance trust and connection through intentional practice. You can choose to download the card deck set you can cut by hand, or the one that can be printed on Avery’s perforated business card paper Read this practice exercise card...
When to Speak, When to Listen

Oren J. Sofer offers an NVC approach to navigating tough moments—balancing honest self-expression with deep listening. Discover how centering yourself, naming your intentions, and hearing the other person first can create the understanding needed for true connection. Keywords: Oren J Sofer authenticity listening presence connection empathy understanding conflict communication
Anatomy of a Trigger

We all create meaning about what happens in our lives that is based on our past experiences and trauma. For most of us, we do this so quickly that we don’t even notice that we’re doing it! When we create meaning about something internally, we become convinced that the other person (or ourselves sometimes) has done something wrong, and we proceed to judge them (or ourselves) for it. The alarming...
Trauma, Forgiveness & Your Close Relationships

Access this complete 7 session course What happens when empathy isn't enough? When you and the people you love keep getting into the same argument again and again with no resolution or change, it can feel deeply distressing. It may even be challenging to hold on to hope. When you look at the outer world, you may find yourself wondering how humanity can possibly work through the deep issues that...
Healing Trauma, Finding Forgiveness Partners, Parents, Children, and Self (7 session course)

Access this complete 7 session course What happens when empathy isn't enough? When you and the people you love keep getting into the same argument again and again with no resolution or change, it can feel deeply distressing. It may even be challenging to hold on to hope. When you look at the outer world, you may find yourself wondering how humanity can possibly work through the deep issues that...
Unacknowledged Fear Looks Like Aggression

Miki Kashtan shares how Marshall Rosenberg helped her see how unacknowledged fear can be misinterpreted as aggression and offers an elegant and simple strategy for changing this dynamic. This is an excerpt from Miki Kashtan's 7 part course Naturalizing NVC Language, which is also available in the NVC Library. Access the complete 7-part course Keywords: relationships dialogue connection...
To Vaccinate or Not to Vaccinate - How to Connect With What Matters

To help you stay connected to yourself and the other person when in challenging discussions about COVID-19 vaccines or other hot issues, without labeling others as reactive or otherwise, you can begin by tracking signs of your own reactivity to bring mindfulness onboard, then shifting your attention to universal needs; and asking to connect about it later. Read on for more. Read this article...
Intention and Effect

When someone expresses upset about our actions, and we focus on our intention being seen and understood (e.g. "I didn’t mean to hurt you”) it doesn't support the speaker in being heard more deeply with care. Here we'll explore this dynamic in a way that supports more clarity and the possibility of greater personal liberation. Read on for more. Read this article Keywords: Intention attention...