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NVC Resources on Conflict

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Beyond "Evaluation"

Read this article Keywords: evaluation interpretation judgement conflict domination NVC myth Bob Wentworth
Hearing Challenging Comments and Stretching into Love

When feeling unworthy, powerless, or afraid, we can hear others' comments as criticism, rejection, demands, limits, or attacks. Practice self-compassion, release attachments, and ask “How can I stretch the boundaries of who I believe myself to be, in service of love?”. Try replacing love with a word that inspires you (e.g. freedom, thriving, etc). Note answers that arise later. Or explore the...
You Ask too Many Questions!!

Reveal what’s in your heart before asking a question to help build trust, especially if you're an authority figure. Otherwise, your question may sound like a demand, blame, trap, intrusion or accusation, and it may elicit a defensive response. If you get a "question" like that, give them empathy. Read on for reflection questions to see how our revealing and our withholding impacts our...
How to Navigate Holiday Conversations with Family

While we can’t control other’s behavior, we can choose how we show up. With forethought and care, we can approach interactions with more clarity, love, and skill. Read on for practices that include: Choose wise attention, ask better questions, practice deep listening, structure the conversation, know your limits, speak your truth, share your personal stories, be present and recall permanence....
Responding to Everyday Racism Role Plays

Join Itzel Hayward and Kathy Simon as they present two role-play scenarios showcasing diverse approaches to navigating difficult conversations. Throughout the demonstration, they underscore the significance of cultivating self-empathy and mindfulness to effectively engage in challenging dialogues. Specifically, they introduce a role-play scenario concerning affirmative action, aimed at...
Does Communicating with Compassion Mean Letting go of our Judgements?

Eradicating judgments is likely impractical as our minds naturally form them. However, understanding inevitable judgments as indicators of our needs rather than truths can foster empathy. Expressing needs rather than judgments can better support connection and openness between one another. Read this article Keywords: judgments mindfulness empathy conflict Ranjitha Jeurkar
The Key to Getting Your Needs Met

Clear, actionable requests are vital for fulfilling needs and maintaining relationships. In NVC, a true request differs from a demand by honoring both parties’ needs equally. Effective requests are specific, present, positive, and doable, and using them strengthens connection, prevents resentment, and promotes mutual understanding. Here are three key skills to making effective requests and...
Becoming Regenerative

I am feeling deeply inspired by the regeneration movement. Paul Hawken, an environmental activist for many decades and one the leading voices in this movement, has written a new book called Regeneration: Ending the Climate Crisis in One Generation. The movement as I understand it is about not only living sustainably on the planet but also healing the planet from the tremendous damage we humans...
Convergent Facilitation

Access this complete 5 session course If you’ve ever dreaded attending a meeting – or watched in dismay as your group collapses into conflict – know that a methodology known as Convergent Facilitation offers you possible solutions. It’s based on one simple experience: that people come together at the level of their underlying principles, needs, aspirations, and dreams, not at the level of their...
Colloquial NVC Options

How can we express ourselves in a way that supports a natural flow of connection while maintaining a focus on NVC consciousness? This handout from CNVC Certified Trainer, Miki Kashtan, offers seven options that support NVC enthusiasts in evolving from classical to colloquial NVC language. KEYS: Fluency in our use of NVC rests on the foundation of connecting with compassion for self and other,...