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NVC Resources on Conflict

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How To Ask For Honesty

Inviting someone to be honest about their feelings can be difficult. It's important to remember that the lack of authenticity is often due to lack of awareness, inner conflict, or fear of conflict, rather than dishonesty. Offer empathy and reassurance and invite more conversation. Approach with compassion and curiosity to naturally invite more honesty. Read this practice exercise Keywords:...
Confirmation and Feedback Requests

Jim and Jori Manske share the wisdom of Marshall Rosenberg, the founder of Nonviolent Communication (NVC). Join them to learn why knowing what you want before speaking is essential for clear, meaningful interactions. This snippet from their eight session course, 9 Skills for Navigating Conflict, explores how to make "confirmation requests" to ensure you're understood—whether you're navigating a...
Making NVC Relevant to a World in Crisis

Access this complete 3 session course 2020 added three major global crises to our long and painful list of ongoing challenges: Public health crisis emerging from the Coronavirus infecting humans; Governance crisis manifesting especially in global protests against police brutality and governments more generally; and Economic crisis unfolding from responses to the pandemic. And as a result, many...
Responding to Anger

When someone wants to speak angrily about another, do you want to move away, try to calm them, argue, set a boundary, or offer empathy? What supports you to stay self connected? You can set boundaries regarding listening so that you're less likely to defend the other party, or attempt to talk your friend down from their judgments, thereby escalating the situation. Disagreements can also ignite...
Observation, Feelings, Needs, and Requests (OFNR) Communication Components

Observation vs. Evaluation/Judgment Observation is awareness of what we perceive with our senses – sight, sound, touch, taste, smell — and also of our thoughts (images, words, concepts, evaluations). In language, we can describe purely what we are observing (i.e. words we hear, actions we see from our subjective frame of reference) separate from words that evaluate (e.g. liking or disliking,...
Looking at “Shoulds”

Using real-life examples from class participants, Sylvia Haskvitz demonstrates the life-changing results of clarifying the needs underlying "shoulds." Some of the situations covered in this audio are: A grandmother shares how she was able to spend time with her grandchildren even when experiencing estrangement from her daughter A father examines how to repair a conversation with his daughter A...
Making The Evolutionary Leap

Shared story has been a way for groups to unite in opposition to a common enemy. But more divergent and virulent beliefs/stories swirl through the internet, facilitating people to polarize against one another. So notice when you're caught in a polarizing story; try shifting focus to observing your mind; somatic presence; underlying commonality; consciousness as universal need, energy, and...
Teachers Expressing to Students and Colleagues

Ask the Trainer Dear Trainer, I just started teaching in a public school, and I can't say I'm enjoying the violence that teachers express towards children and their colleagues. There are, however, a couple of teachers in my building who sincerely believe in empathizing with children and respecting their needs. However, when I start talking about Nonviolent/Compassionate Communication (even if I...
Transforming Painful Patterns

Common Obstacles to Success Why is it so difficult to change our patterns even when we want to, even when we experience shame or despair about them? Here are common pitfalls: Trying to change a pattern while playing it out Focusing on changing a behavior, usually quickly and forcefully, without empathic listening to ourselves (our needs and feelings in particular) Grounding our motivation for...
Building A Feelings Vocabulary

Trainer Tip Fortunately, analysis is not the only way to resolve inner conflicts. Life itself still remains a very effective therapist. —Karen Horney Many years ago, I was so disconnected from myself that it was difficult for me to identify or express my feelings. At the time, I worked with a therapist who took the time to teach me a feelings vocabulary. I would tell her what happened, and she...