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NVC Resources on Conflict

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Peace Starts At Home

Access this complete 6 session course “I will do everything in my power to resolve every conflict, however small.” – Thich Nhat Hanh, from the 4th precept as printed in For a Future to Be Possible When asked how we can create peace, the Dalai Lama suggested that we start at home. Through the practice of living in dialogue at home, where the stakes are often very high, you can increase your...
Prepare for Love

Access this complete 12 session course This 12 session course recording brings together Eric's passions for Nonviolent Communication, Attachment Theory and Interpersonal Neurobiology. We will learn about our past relationships, do healing work for our relationship wounds and trauma, and envision how we want to be in relationship with ourselves and with others—family, friends and intimate...
Making Sure We Are Heard

Trainer Tip Love involves a peculiar unfathomable combination of understanding and misunderstanding. —Diane Arbus Isn’t it amazing how people can witness the same thing, but interpret it differently? I used to marvel at this, get into arguments about how others didn’t hear things correctly, or feel angry because I thought they weren’t being honest. Now, I accept the fact that we all hear things...
Contributing to Emotional Safety Without Giving Up Honesty

Contributing to emotional safety does not have to be in conflict with honest expression and authenticity. These are separate things. Imagining that you have to take care of someone’s tender heart by becoming small or giving up your needs is called enmeshment. This is a tragic strategy for relating. Enmeshment is encouraged in systems of oppression in which the person with less power is...
Nonviolence Is A Process, A Journey

Today is the national holiday in the U.S. to honor and celebrate Martin Luther King, Jr.'s profound contributions to social equality and sisterhood and brotherhood between all people. He did this through the power of nonviolence in social resistance. MLK was inspired by Mahatma Gandhi, the liberator of India from British colonialism last century through nonviolence. Marshall Rosenberg was...
Radical Understanding In A Post-Truth World

As difficult as it can be to do, the practice of radical empathic understanding — letting go attachment or desire for shared belief — becomes in my view not only a meaningful and valuable personal challenge but also a way to contribute to the larger world culture of “post-truth.” It may be a way that we humans can bridge the gulf of our differences in beliefs in order to come together to live...
Vaccination and COVID-19

Struggling to navigate needs between the vaccinated and unvaccinated? How can we disagree and still understand each other? Listen in as a participant engages with Miki about her struggle to choreograph people's divergent needs around vaccines, and enjoy Miki's tip for reflecting back understanding when we disagree! Keywords: COVID-19 Miki Kashtan empathy honest expression conflict prevention...
Our Afghan Story Revisited

Close to 20 years ago I went to Pakistan with my close colleague Ike Lasater to work with Afghan tribal elders in a refugee camp along the border. It was January 2002, soon after the 9/11 terrorist attacks in the U.S. and our bombings and invasion of Afghanistan. It was a particularly dangerous time for Americans to go to that part of the world, yet for reasons I can only understand in...
Little Hints For Contributing To A Secure Bond With Your Partner

Research shows that couples with a secure bond experience arguments that are shorter, lower in intensity, and easier to recover from. Building and keeping a secure bond with your partner requires mindfulness and consistency: respond to what’s needed or supportive in a given moment; give them your full attention and affection in a spacious greeting; conveying care, consideration, and that they...
Connecting With Your Husband

Ask the Trainer Dear Trainer, My question is about wanting to empathize more with my husband. It is difficult to communicate with him sometimes. Sometimes we connect very deeply when we have decided to use NVC. Other times it seems that we have never even talked about NVC and he slips back into jackal talk. I would like to see a more balanced relationship and I don’t know how to do it. I would...