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NVC Resources on Giraffe & Jackal

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Giraffe Mourning

Often making an apology is not enough because people want greater depth of understanding and empathy. Instead of judging ourselves or feeling guilt we can "mourn" what we did that stirred up pain in others. This can bring about a sweet pain that leads to change. Then we can ask ourselves what we can do next time and make a commitment to do this and/or offer a regrets to the person expressing...
Getting Past Childhood Trauma

Access this complete 8 session course The impact of early childhood trauma and neglect is enormous. Many of our core beliefs are formed from our instinctive attempts as babies or young children to survive, and these experiences are the origins of most inner jackal voices and fear-based behaviors. Because memory of this material is stored in the limbic system—an ancient part of the brain—‘talk...
Acknowledging Our Inner Critic

Trainer Tip "The only tyrant I accept in this world is the still small voice within me." —Mahatma Gandhi In Compassionate Communication, some of us call the critical voice inside our heads our jackal. The jackal says you should or shouldn’t do something; it judges you and other people; and it is the most likely to get scared when you begin to make a change. I used to be embarrassed by my jackal...
Parenting Series: When Your Child Only Has "No" for an Answer

In this video download, expert parent trainer and author of Parenting From Your Heart, Inbal Kashtan responds to the age-old question: “Why do children do things to annoy parents?” Using jackal and giraffe puppets to illustrate common parent/child dialogues, Inbal answers other common questions like: What do I do when my child is “obstinate?” Why does my child thrive on not participating? Why...
Self-Empathy

Trainer Tip When you really listen to yourself, you can heal yourself. —Ceanna DeRohan It is true that we cannot fully understand other people until we understand ourselves. I tried to escape this for years. I told people that I was a caring and loving person. But deep down, I struggled to feel compassion. I was consumed with anger, resentment, and an overriding belief that I was never going to...
Looking at Anger from an NVC Perspective

In this vintage 1999 video, Wes Taylor leads a group of young people in a lively discussion on working with anger. He clarifies that anger is a valid feeling that is a product of "jackal" thinking and points out that anger is never the primary emotion; there is always a more vulnerable feeling underneath anger. When feeling angry, Wes suggests that you ask yourself two simple questions: 1. Is...
Beyond Right and Wrong

In this vintage NVC video, Bridget Belgrave uses a Powerpoint presentation to demonstrate the key principles of Nonviolent Communication. Starting with needs at the center, Bridget builds a visual structure of the NVC process. The exercise is a three-step process: 1. Think of a time when someone was driving you a bit crazy 2. Write down one jackal statement 3. Identify the need that was hard to...
Connecting With Your Husband

Ask the Trainer Dear Trainer, My question is about wanting to empathize more with my husband. It is difficult to communicate with him sometimes. Sometimes we connect very deeply when we have decided to use NVC. Other times it seems that we have never even talked about NVC and he slips back into jackal talk. I would like to see a more balanced relationship and I don’t know how to do it. I would...
Empathy

In this audio recording, Sylvia Haskvitz, veteran CNVC Certified Trainer, offers an in-depth discussion of the Nonviolent Communication process of empathy. Included is clarity about what empathy is and is not, information about the presence suggested to maintain empathic connection and the healing attributes of empathy, as well as: How to know when you have lost empathic connection The needs...
Connected Parenting: Everyone's Needs Matter

In this brief audio snippet, CNVC Certified Trainer and founder of the CNVC Parenting Project, Inbal Kashtan, offers a profound insight that can change how we see and relate to our children. This recording is an excerpt from Inbal's audio CD, Connected Parenting: Nonviolent Communication in Family Life. Keywords: demands empathy expression feelings giraffe and jackal needs anger connection...