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NVC Resources on Giraffe & Jackal

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Core Beliefs and Gratitude Exercise

How core beliefs may keep us from fully experiencing gratitude: Some of my core beliefs make experiencing gratitude difficult. For example, it’s difficult to celebrate others or myself when I think I have to prove my worth in order to be accepted. So much energy goes into proving myself, there’s little left for celebration. I find that when I clarify my core beliefs and the underlying needs...
Expressing Big Emotions Compassionately

Trainer Tip Until he extends his circle of compassion to all living things, man will not himself find peace. —Albert Schweitzer Sometimes we find ourselves in situations where we become extremely frustrated, angry, or exasperated. It happens to all of us from time to time. The difference for me now is that I express my intense feelings by owning them. This is called screaming in giraffe. In the...
The Power of Being Heard

Trainer Tip "To listen well is as powerful a means of influence as to talk well." —Chinese proverb In Compassionate Communication, some of us call the critical voice inside our heads our jackal. The jackal says you should or shouldn’t do something; it judges you and other people; and it is the most likely to get scared when you begin to make a change. I often hear people say this in my classes,...
Self Empathy

Trainer Tip Humility is to make a right estimate of one’s self. —Charles Haddon Spurgeon Sometimes our behaviors keep us from meeting our greatest needs. Let’s say you long for deep connection with others, but you are also afraid of it, so you push people away. Then you tell yourself that no one likes you. Often the result is depression, loneliness, and self-criticism. The process of...
Listening Beyond the Words

What do we do when someone speaks to us in a way that doesn’t feel respectful? In this video, Oren Jay Sofer explores how NVC invites us to listen for the feelings and needs behind harsh or judgmental words — not because we “should,” but because it gives us more choice and freedom in how we respond. You’ll also learn when it might serve to empathize first, and when it may be time to set clear...
Owning Your Own Experience

Listen to Jim and Jori Manske share how we are conditioned to disconnect from our own feelings and how we can unlearn this habit to experience more full and rich inner lives. Practices for owning your own experience 1. Set aside about 10 minutes per day to journal, using this template, in order to support “owning your own emotional experience.” Begin with an intention to be gentle with yourself...
Parenting Series: Understanding Requests and Demands

Inbal speaks to a group about our habit of demanding something of our children but making it sound like a request, the components of a true request and the importance of being honest when making a demand. Through an inspirational dialogue, Inbal demonstrates how we can stay in a dialogue even when our children say, “No” simply by viewing the situation through our “Giraffe Glasses.” Keywords:...
Cause of Feelings

Sylvia Haskvitz uses a personal example to illustrate the cause of our feelings. Many of us habitually blame other people for our feelings but our own state of needs is the true cause. In this powerful audio, Sylvia teaches you how to manage your emotions in challenging situations and demonstrates the process of Screaming in Giraffe. The goal is to develop new habits that better serve your life...
Colloquial NVC Options

How can we express ourselves in a way that supports a natural flow of connection while maintaining a focus on NVC consciousness? This handout from CNVC Certified Trainer, Miki Kashtan, offers seven options that support NVC enthusiasts in evolving from classical to colloquial NVC language. KEYS: Fluency in our use of NVC rests on the foundation of connecting with compassion for self and other,...
NVC Mingle

NVC Mingle is a fun group exercise to practice NVC principles and create quick connections with others. Instructions: Ask everyone to walk around the room in a random pattern, with everyone chanting "Mingle, mingle, ming-GULL" (to a Latin rhythm). Blow the whistle, and tell them to form groups of 3's (or 4's, depending on group size). Name a topic (see below) for the group members to share with...