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NVC Resources on Happiness

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The Price of Nice

Have you been nice? Well then you must be enjoying the reward: depression, intermittent explosiveness, job meaninglessness, ambiguous anxiety, low resentment and subtle self hate. The antidotes: honesty, passion and compassion. Have you been a naughty or a nice boy or girl? You have been Nice? Well then you must be enjoying the reward for being a good little boy or girl, i.e. depression,...
Stop Suffering

In this inspiring audio, Kelly Bryson, veteran CNVC Certified Trainer and author of many NVC books and articles, explores the importance of setting a clear intention and then clarifies the difference between pain and suffering. Kelly tells us that pain is different from suffering and then offers specific suggestions on how to meet your pain and your suffering to stimulate personal healing....
NVC "Reality TV"

Access this complete 4 session course If role-play, hearing conversations modeled, and dialogue practice is how you learn, this 4-part course recording is for you! Learn the art of entering into, staying in, and bowing out of “the dance” of communication, playing with real-life situations using the four components of Nonviolent Communciation as the foundation. Overcome fear of entering...
Poetic License

Poetic License is a fun group exercise that's sure to incite laughter in your NVC group! (This game originated from Doug Dolstad) Instructions: In a group circle, everyone has a piece of notebook paper. Everyone writes an "observation" phrase across the top of the page ("When I see/hear _______"); and folds the paper over so that what they have written is hidden. Each person passes their paper...
Becoming Regenerative

I am feeling deeply inspired by the regeneration movement. Paul Hawken, an environmental activist for many decades and one the leading voices in this movement, has written a new book called Regeneration: Ending the Climate Crisis in One Generation. The movement as I understand it is about not only living sustainably on the planet but also healing the planet from the tremendous damage we humans...
The Three Stages of Emotional Liberation

Trainer Tip True freedom is to share All the chains our brothers wear, And, with heart and hand, to be Earnest to make others free! —James Russell Lowell We all go through stages of emotional maturity. In Nonviolent Communication, we identify three primary stages of emotional maturity, the last of which is emotional liberation. Many of us start at Stage 1, which is thinking that we are...
Noticing What Is Important

Trainer Tip "A caress is better than a career." —Elisabeth Marbury I woke up one day and I realized that I had a lucrative career in higher education. I was paid a good salary and I had attained some freedom and a good reputation. I also had very few friends, was in little contact with my family, and wasn’t in a significant relationship. Most of my life was devoted to my career. Then I began to...
Practice, Practice, Practice

Trainer Tip I have discovered that we may be in some degree whatever character we choose. Besides, practice forms a man to anything. —James Boswell Sometimes I hear people say things like: “I didn’t use Nonviolent Communication this week. Everything was going so smoothly, I didn’t have to.” I suggest a different approach. Consider practicing the Nonviolent Communication process every day,...
Connecting To Your Needs in Relationships

Trainer Tip Whoever is happy will make others happy too. —Anne Frank Many people evaluate their relationships based on their perception of how the other person feels. I did this for years. I would decide that a relationship was good or bad based on whether my partner was enjoying it. This left me feeling insecure and confused. A more effective way to evaluate relationships is to check in with...
Stages of Emotional Maturity

Trainer Tip As long as one keeps searching, the answers come. —Joan Baez Many of us begin our personal journey thinking that we are responsible for everyone’s feelings, and strive to keep everyone happy. At this stage, we are afraid of losing ourselves in relationships, and may think we are abused. In the next stage of development, we come to understand that we are not responsible for other...