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NVC Resources on Happiness

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Connecting Feelings and Needs

Trainer Tip You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. —Eleanor Roosevelt How are you feeling right now? Do you feel happy? If so, then your needs in this moment are met. If you feel sad, tired, angry, hurt, or disappointed, they are not. Take a minute to check in with yourself. Do you need love, support, reassurance, hope,...
Change Happens

Trainer Tip We must always change, renew, rejuvenate ourselves; otherwise we harden. —Goethe I used to think that people were supposed to feel and show little emotion. So I set out to be “even,” as I put it. I thought the best way to achieve this was to be “stable,” which to me meant to stagnate. I felt joy about things only for a short while. Then I wondered if I would ever be happy and if I...
Self-Righteous Anger

Trainer Tip Hating people is like burning down your house to get rid of a rat. —Harry Emerson Fosdick Have you ever noticed that some of your behaviors ensure that your needs for peace and relief won’t be met? Take judgments for instance. The more we have, the less peaceful and happy we feel. The same is true for resentment and anger. Don’t you just feel awful when you are filled with them? How...
Loving Our Role as Parent

Trainer Tip There is nothing more thrilling in this world, I think, than having a child that is yours, and yet is mysteriously a stranger. —Agatha Christie Parenthood is a paradox. If you do your job well, your children leave you. I met an English woman once who told me that for the first twenty-four hours of her son’s life, he was her child. She savored that first day with him intensely,...
Self-Empathy

Access this complete 6 session course This 6-session course is designed to deepen your ability to connect with self and heal your past through the process of Self-empathy. Known and practiced worldwide, Mary's signature Self-empathy processes provide clear insight into the emotional triggers and habits that get in the way of your ability to live a happy and successful life. They also provide...
The Top Five Deal Breakers in Relationships

Trainer Tip Anyone who’s a great kisser I’m always interested in. —Cher A friend of mine tells me that everyone should become aware of their “top five deal breakers” in relationships. These are things a person decides she must have in order to be happy in a relationship. Usually, I hear people identify their top five deal breakers as strategies, such as “I want him to enjoy gardening, to be a...
From Awareness to Action

Access this complete 6 session course For many people, attempting to connect with others across differences can feel akin to walking through a minefield. Even one's best attempts may inadvertently trigger an unexpected explosion, especially when dealing with situations such as: Striving to understand someone's culture or behavior when it's vastly different from your own; Getting scared whenever...
Communicating Our Deepest Desires

Trainer Tip "In order to create a true connection, honesty is just as important as empathy." —Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D., Founder Nonviolent Communication If you are not happy in your relationships or in your life, the chances are good that your communication patterns are part of the problem. I have noticed, in fact, that we often try to protect ourselves rather than ask for what we really...
Directness

Trainer Tip The abstinent run away from what they desire, but carry their desires with them. —Bhagavadgita Isn’t it kinder to be indirect? Do I have to tell the whole truth? Yep, I say that direct honesty is the only answer. Indirectness can easily cause confusion and pain as people try to figure out what we mean. Such communication can prolong the inevitable pain and even deepen it. I think...
Focusing on Where We Are the Same

Trainer Tip Show love to all creatures and you will be happy . . . —Tulsidas In Compassionate Communication, we believe that everyone has the same needs, no matter how they strive to meet them. Can you imagine what needs the terrorists were trying to meet when they flew airplanes into the World Trade Center in 2001? To some, it seems unfathomable that they were meeting needs. But think about...