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NVC Resources on Judgment

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Key Assumptions and Intentions of NVC

I. Assumptions Underlying the Practice of Nonviolent Communication Following are key assumptions that NVC practice is based on. Many traditions share these assumptions; NVC gives us concrete, powerful tools for putting them into practice. When we live based on these assumptions, self-connection and connection with others become increasingly possible and easy. All human beings share the same...
How to Handle Being Judged

Ask the Trainer Dear Trainer, I am wondering what to do with a judgment that is expressed by someone about me, that has nothing to do with the other person. In these situations I can't find the unmet need they are expressing (other than perhaps significance). For example, when someone makes a comment such as: "Boy it's taking you a long time to get moved in," or, "Oh, it's not noon yet! I...
Cause of Feelings

Sylvia Haskvitz uses a personal example to illustrate the cause of our feelings. Many of us habitually blame other people for our feelings but our own state of needs is the true cause. In this powerful audio, Sylvia teaches you how to manage your emotions in challenging situations and demonstrates the process of Screaming in Giraffe. The goal is to develop new habits that better serve your life...
The Power of Silent Empathy

When I first learned about the concept of silent empathy during a workshop with Marshall Rosenberg many years ago, I didn't know how soon I'd have the opportunity to try it out. I was visiting my daughter for four days and even though it seemed to be going well, I must have been acting in my old mother role, making comments about her life, analyzing her behavior, giving her my unsolicited view...
Parenting Series: When Your Child Only Has "No" for an Answer

In this video download, expert parent trainer and author of Parenting From Your Heart, Inbal Kashtan responds to the age-old question: “Why do children do things to annoy parents?” Using jackal and giraffe puppets to illustrate common parent/child dialogues, Inbal answers other common questions like: What do I do when my child is “obstinate?” Why does my child thrive on not participating? Why...
Healing the Blame that Binds

Blame is the game that protects me from the understanding that the cause of all my emotional distress, fear, shame and guilt comes from the part of me I call "the inner voice." As long as I keep the big bony finger of blame pointed in your direction, I can remain unaware of the fact that it is what I am telling myself about your behavior that is stimulating my painful reactions. This lack of...
The Price of Nice

Have you been nice? Well then you must be enjoying the reward: depression, intermittent explosiveness, job meaninglessness, ambiguous anxiety, low resentment and subtle self hate. The antidotes: honesty, passion and compassion. Have you been a naughty or a nice boy or girl? You have been Nice? Well then you must be enjoying the reward for being a good little boy or girl, i.e. depression,...
Stop Suffering

In this inspiring audio, Kelly Bryson, veteran CNVC Certified Trainer and author of many NVC books and articles, explores the importance of setting a clear intention and then clarifies the difference between pain and suffering. Kelly tells us that pain is different from suffering and then offers specific suggestions on how to meet your pain and your suffering to stimulate personal healing....
The Cause of Our Feelings

Ask the Trainer Dear Trainer, I would love some clarity about the NVC perspective on the cause of our feelings. I am quite clear that nothing external to me is the cause of my feelings, and it seems also quite clear that my thoughts (beliefs and perceptions) are the cause of my feelings. Yet in NVC the cause is said to be our unmet needs. Yet again I have also heard NVC trainers say that we...
Everyday Parenting Challenges

In this audio download, Ingrid Bauer guides parents to navigate everyday parenting challenges using the NVC model, such as the behavior of a frustrated child, a messy room, transition times and a child who collapses when things don’t work out as she had hoped. When parents integrate NVC into their parenting style, they build lifelong relationships with their children upon a foundation of trust...