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NVC Resources on Judgment

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Groups Tip Series: How Can I Support More Collaboration?

It seems to me that people see ideas which are different from theirs as threatening. Instead of listening, the group polarizes around the different ideas and a lot of judgments develop, conflicts develop and people feel hurt. Forward progress becomes a battle ground. How can I support more collaboration? Keywords: conflict resolution groups collaboration Group Facilitation Tips purpose...
Responding to Anger

When someone wants to speak angrily about another, do you want to move away, try to calm them, argue, set a boundary, or offer empathy? What supports you to stay self connected? You can set boundaries regarding listening so that you're less likely to defend the other party, or attempt to talk your friend down from their judgments, thereby escalating the situation. Disagreements can also ignite...
One World, Many Experiences

In treating everyone the same, we perpetuate inequities. If we want NVC consciousness to spread globally, it's crucial to acknowledge how various demographics are have varying capacities, and are differentially perceived, treated and impacted. Modifying our NVC teachings can increase equity and reduce the frequent judgement, disbelief, denial, insistence, non-resonance and re-marginalization...
How To Distinguish True Caring From Being Charmed

The attention you enjoy may not be motivated by true caring for you. There are three key questions that can help you discern whether you are receiving care or charm: How does caring show up under duress? How are differences treated? How consistent is the ability to consider the impact of their behavior on others? Be mindful of your judgments and notice any patterns. Read on for more. Read this...
Four Types of Feedback

Trainer Tip Here are four different ways you may offer feedback, followed by the four ways you can hear any message: What's wrong? Destructive Criticism: Demeaning, depreciative, punitive intending to tear a person down. What's right? Constructive Criticism: Timely, sympathetic, supportive, explicit, instructive, problem-solving, intending to build the person up. Feedback by demonstration: We...
Transforming Painful Patterns

Common Obstacles to Success Why is it so difficult to change our patterns even when we want to, even when we experience shame or despair about them? Here are common pitfalls: Trying to change a pattern while playing it out Focusing on changing a behavior, usually quickly and forcefully, without empathic listening to ourselves (our needs and feelings in particular) Grounding our motivation for...
Being Me and Loving You

Access this complete 4 session course It is time to create true transparency, empathy and trust in your intimate relationships! In this inspiring telecourse recording, Kelly combines humor, music, group readings and experiential exercises to help you realize the fulfilling and intimate relationships you long for. Learn practical tools and confidence to: Create true transparency, empathy and...
Tips for the Road Series Tip 4

When you are hoping for support from another, you are most likely to enjoy receiving that support when the person giving support is giving from the heart—from a place of joy or delight. When they give support out of obligation or from fear of punishment, rejection, or judgment, or from hope for a reward, that support is usually not very fun to receive. In order to receive enjoyable support,...
Tips for the Road Series Tip 10

One of the most important things you can do to live a meaningful and rewarding life filled with vitality is reclaim your emotions. When you reclaim your emotions, you rescue yourself from the numb and deadening state of “fine” and from the dependence on alcohol, drugs, food, shopping, and countless other addictions to feel more alive. Expressing your emotions in nature is one to reclaim your...
Self-Empathy

Trainer Tip When you really listen to yourself, you can heal yourself. —Ceanna DeRohan It is true that we cannot fully understand other people until we understand ourselves. I tried to escape this for years. I told people that I was a caring and loving person. But deep down, I struggled to feel compassion. I was consumed with anger, resentment, and an overriding belief that I was never going to...