Browse by Topic

NVC Resources on Judgment

Search Terms:

Advanced Search

Select Media Type, Click Search

Enjoying the Jackal Show

Trainer Tip "Any change in one part of your life affects all other parts." —Gloria Karpinski When I am emotionally charged, my brain can begin an internal chatter that keeps me from focusing on the situation I’m in. Before I learned Compassionate Communication, I tried to ignore this chatter or censor it by thinking, “Oh, Mary, you shouldn’t feel that way. Don’t be so impatient. She’s not...
Living in the Observation as a Daily Practice

Everything someone does or says is an attempt to meet a need …. Really? The other day, I was in a gathering and I ran into a woman two times. What I mean is, I looked up and she was right there and we were standing so close that I was startled. After an hour at this event, I was pulling out of my parking place. I looked both ways and waited for a car to go by and then pulled out of my parking...
Key Differentiations in Nonviolent Communication

Veteran CNVC Certified Trainer, Sylvia Haskvitz, reviews the key distinctions (sometimes referred to as the key differentiations) in Nonviolent Communication (NVC). Listen to this audio to deepen your NVC consciousness and skills through differentiating "giraffe" concepts, themes and habits from "jackal" concepts, themes and habits. This audio is recommended for people new to the NVC process or...
Acknowledging Our Inner Critic

Trainer Tip "The only tyrant I accept in this world is the still small voice within me." —Mahatma Gandhi In Compassionate Communication, some of us call the critical voice inside our heads our jackal. The jackal says you should or shouldn’t do something; it judges you and other people; and it is the most likely to get scared when you begin to make a change. I used to be embarrassed by my jackal...
Empathic Listening Does Not Work Unless it is Empathic Listening

About 15 years ago I had regular interactions with an acquaintance of mine of whom I had lots of enemy images and judgements, and our interactions were not easy. Life moved on in a way that we nowadays barely meet briefly every few years, yet I still remember a piece of wisdom that he articulated then, and I only started to appreciate lately. In the midst of complex and emotionally charged...
Are You Living Your True Potential?

Do you ever find yourself in the same emotional landscape over and over again? Okay, sure, the scenery and faces around you might be different, but the way you feel – a tangible sense of dissatisfaction – seems all too familiar. Could it be Déjà vu? Karma? A result of your childhood? Isn’t it time to move beyond your inner judgments and start living your best life? How can we live up to our...
Focusing on Where We Are the Same

Trainer Tip Show love to all creatures and you will be happy . . . —Tulsidas In Compassionate Communication, we believe that everyone has the same needs, no matter how they strive to meet them. Can you imagine what needs the terrorists were trying to meet when they flew airplanes into the World Trade Center in 2001? To some, it seems unfathomable that they were meeting needs. But think about...
Self Empathy

Trainer Tip Humility is to make a right estimate of one’s self. —Charles Haddon Spurgeon Sometimes our behaviors keep us from meeting our greatest needs. Let’s say you long for deep connection with others, but you are also afraid of it, so you push people away. Then you tell yourself that no one likes you. Often the result is depression, loneliness, and self-criticism. The process of...
Developing a Needs Consciousness

Shifting to a needs-based perspective is one of the most powerful—and challenging—aspects of integrating Nonviolent Communication (NVC) into daily life. In this short video, Mary Mackenzie offers three simple, practical tips to help you cultivate needs consciousness and transform how you experience your world and relationships. From hourly check-ins to reflecting on your day, these strategies...
How To Understand Control

When someone behaves in a way that you may label convincing, cajoling, guilt-tripping, threatening, analyzing, or criticizing, you may be tempted to guess they have a "need" for control. Instead, name what this person is doing that isn't meeting your needs. If it is a true need your heart will have softened. If you feel resentment or resistance, you are likely making a judgment rather than...