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NVC Resources on Judgment

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I See the Spirit in You

Trainer Tip The heart of him who truly loves is a paradise on earth; he has God in himself, for God is love. —Felicité Robert de Lamennais When we see others as spiritual beings, we connect to their divine energy. I have believed this for years. But for many of those years, I would forget the Spirit in another person if we were in conflict. To know that a person is a spiritual being, but then...
How Anger Can Help or Hinder

We can use anger as an important signal to let us know that we perceive a threat to a universal need or value, directing our attention to something so that we can take effective action, and avoid harmful thought patterns. For example, instead of dwelling on a "should," focus on addressing unmet needs through boundaries and effective communication. Anger is an important signaling system letting...
Flexible Parenting

Roxy Manning discusses the tendency to get attached to certain parenting strategies for control and emphasizes the importance of attuning to the child's needs rather than imposing fixed ideas of right or wrong. Using a personal example of being labeled a "bad child" for taking off uncomfortable dresses, Roxy highlights the need to observe and understand the child's perspective. She stresses the...
What Is NVC? A Restorative Path to Connection and Healing

Aya Caspi describes Nonviolent Communication (NVC) as a restorative practice—one that reconnects us with life, trust, and the experience of mattering. She reflects on Marshall Rosenberg’s vision of NVC as a “language of life,” helping us shift from disconnection to connection, from distrust to trust. Aya shares how every NVC practice is designed to meet needs and restore well-being—both within...
Feelings vs Interpretations

Here's a list of words that pose as feelings, but are actually interpretations of what you think someone is doing to you. They trigger defensiveness in another thereby preventing a connected dialogue. Behind each of these words are precious feelings and needs. This sheet includes ways to distinguish feelings from interpretations. See this learning tool Keywords: feelings faux feelings...
Mourning Unmet Needs (The Art of Letting Go)

"Hold on to your anger and use it as compost for your garden." - Thich Nhat Hanh Recently I was feeling very angry and resentful. I felt this way for a couple days. I have learned that when I judge others it only contributes to anger and resentment. Despite knowing this, I kept judging this particular person. By doing this I only added more drama to the story I was creating in my mind. I...
Alarm Feelings

Anger, guilt, shame, and shutdown are often based on reactivity and “should” thinking. They narrow and distort perceptions, which can bring more suffering. So instead, feel them without resistance, nor acting on them. Bring clarity by naming your observables and thoughts, plus your underlying vulnerable feelings, needs and self-responsibility. Then mourn what needs were, or are, unmet. Only...
Hearing Challenging Comments and Stretching into Love

When feeling unworthy, powerless, or afraid, we can hear others' comments as criticism, rejection, demands, limits, or attacks. Practice self-compassion, release attachments, and ask “How can I stretch the boundaries of who I believe myself to be, in service of love?”. Try replacing love with a word that inspires you (e.g. freedom, thriving, etc). Note answers that arise later. Or explore the...
Self-Empathy "Wrap" Process

In this inspiring audio, Mary Mackenzie takes the traditional NVC self-empathy process of identifying judgments, feelings and needs to a much deeper and more profound level by adding a "wrapping" component. By staying in the process as Mary demonstrates, you will begin to understand your communication/behavior patterns that don't serve you, uncover patterns of unmet needs that permeate many of...
Taking Care Of Yourself When Visiting Family

Before entering a family gathering, set your intention to notice reactivity and make a plan for self-care when it comes up. It might also be helpful to imagine repetitive interactions and plan how you will respond; for example with a boundary, honest expression, empathy, or by taking a time-out for self-care. Remember your core values, intention, and how you are committed to showing up in the...