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NVC Resources on Love

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Abusive Relationships and Nonviolence

In order to bring in more nonviolence into the world, we need to take our own needs seriously and recognize that no amount of seeing someone’s innocence would mean putting up with more of their harmful behavior. We need to disentangle compassion towards another from the willingness to tolerate more harmful actions. At times this means finding enough self-love, support, or clarity, to take...
Denying Our Needs

Trainer Tip What’s terrible is to pretend that the second-rate is the first-rate. To pretend that you don’t need love when you do; or you like your work when you know quite well you’re capable of better. —Doris Lessing It is painful spending our days pretending we’re not who we are. For years I tried not to be passionate because I thought my passion turned people off. And I tried not to be...
Key Differentiations in Nonviolent Communication

Veteran CNVC Certified Trainer, Sylvia Haskvitz, reviews the key distinctions (sometimes referred to as the key differentiations) in Nonviolent Communication (NVC). Listen to this audio to deepen your NVC consciousness and skills through differentiating "giraffe" concepts, themes and habits from "jackal" concepts, themes and habits. This audio is recommended for people new to the NVC process or...
Every Angry Message is a "Please"

Trainer Tip The only way to master love, is to practice love. —Don Miguel Ruiz Sometimes it is hard to remember, but every time someone speaks or acts in anger or frustration, he is saying "Please!" Consider the please when your child says, "We NEVER get to do what I want to do!" The child is saying, "Please, I want fairness and fun. I want to know that you care about my needs, too." How about...
Feast for the Soul

Expressing ourselves honestly is sometimes scary because we can't predict where the conversation will go after we've made ourselves vulnerable. From the depths of internal winter to the melting open in the warm sunshine of spring to rest in the ocean of Spirit, this poetry is a journey of discovering deep Presence through the human experiences so many of us share. These words will carry you...
Bringing the Topic of a Conversation Back to Your Needs

Trainer Tip “I think patience is what love is,” he said, “because how could you love somebody without it?” —Jane Howard You pop into your colleague’s office to say hi and ask what time it is. He offers a lengthy dissertation on how clocks work. You think you could walk out the door without him noticing, but deep down, you respect him and you want to maintain a cordial relationship. On the other...
Transforming Limiting Beliefs About Sex Using Neurobiology

This is an opportunity to explore/transform a limiting belief you have about yourself using what science is discovering about neurobiology. A limiting belief is simply an idea or thought we have about ourselves/life that we or others have affirmed over and over again – these ideas usually get in the way of living life fully. Write out any limiting ideas you have about sex then pick one you’d...
Tips for the Road Series Tip 4

When you are hoping for support from another, you are most likely to enjoy receiving that support when the person giving support is giving from the heart—from a place of joy or delight. When they give support out of obligation or from fear of punishment, rejection, or judgment, or from hope for a reward, that support is usually not very fun to receive. In order to receive enjoyable support,...
Tips for the Road Series Tip 23

This Tip for the Road is a list of some of my favorite Books, Articles, and Videos related to building successful relationships. Books Meet Me In Hard to Love Places, E. Bowers Nonviolent Communication, M. Rosenberg Mindsight, D Siegel The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, D. Ford Soulcraft, B. Plotkin. And Wild Mind, B. Plotkin In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts, G. Maté Romancing the Shadow, C....
Noticing What Is Important

Trainer Tip "A caress is better than a career." —Elisabeth Marbury I woke up one day and I realized that I had a lucrative career in higher education. I was paid a good salary and I had attained some freedom and a good reputation. I also had very few friends, was in little contact with my family, and wasn’t in a significant relationship. Most of my life was devoted to my career. Then I began to...