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NVC Resources on Love

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Going Deep

I use the exercise below in many of my Nonviolent Communication (NVC) workshops. I call it "Peeling the Layers of the Onion." It illustrates a process for uncovering the Universal Human Needs — the deeper motivations — that underlie words and behaviors we may find disturbing or puzzling. Introduction: Needs vs Strategies One of the premises in NVC is that behind all behavior and expressions are...
Defusing Anger

Trainer Tip Hatred is a feeling, which leads to the extinction of values. —José Ortega y Gasset Many of us are afraid of our anger because we haven’t learned how to express it in a way that brings relief or that helps us meet our needs in the situation. Consider someone who calls people names in a rage, or hits another person, or walks off slamming the doors behind him. All of these are methods...
Diving Deeper Into the Spiral of Life

Access this complete 6 session course Benefits of this course: Increase your capacity for self-compassion and unconditional self-acceptance Reclaim your passion for living authentically with compassion, creativity, love and clarity Strengthen your ability to be naturally open-hearted towards pain and mourning Learn to meet life with vulnerability and strength, together Deepen your spiritual...
Marshall Rosenberg's Vision of Social Change

In this moving reflection, Rachelle Lamb honors Marshall Rosenberg’s true vision for Nonviolent Communication—not just as a tool for personal transformation, but as a catalyst for deep social change. She reminds us that inner work alone is not enough in a world facing ecological collapse, rising suicide rates, and widespread displacement. Quoting Rosenberg, she calls on us to remember that our...
Creating an Internal Secure Base

We each hold an internal model or set of expectations about how caring and comfort could be accessed in relationship. The ability to reflect upon and challenge our own dominant model of perceptions, beliefs, and behaviors --and to experience discomfort and vulnerability-- is a key feature of "security". If not, an "attachment reactivity" arises -- where sense of insecurity, separateness, and...
Making Sure We Are Heard

Trainer Tip Love involves a peculiar unfathomable combination of understanding and misunderstanding. —Diane Arbus Isn’t it amazing how people can witness the same thing, but interpret it differently? I used to marvel at this, get into arguments about how others didn’t hear things correctly, or feel angry because I thought they weren’t being honest. Now, I accept the fact that we all hear things...
Releasing Our Judgments

Trainer Tip There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. —Edith Wharton An underlying theme in a Nonviolent Communication consciousness is to translate our judgments into feelings and needs. It is impossible to value other people’s needs and remain compassionate if we simultaneously harbor judgments. Releasing judgments, however, can feel like a...
Mediating Conflicts

Trainer Tip "Is it not by love alone that we succeed in penetrating the very essence of a being?" —Igor Stravinsky When mediating conflicts using Nonviolent Communication, I focus on establishing a quality of connection that involves trust and a sincere desire to resolve the situation peacefully. This involves listening for the needs that each person is trying to meet. I reflect back to them...
Doing Something Different

Trainer Tip "Live each day as if your life had just begun." —Goethe This is it. Today is the day to be open to others. Maybe it’s scary to be vulnerable, but what is the alternative? Keep doing the same things and you will have the same results. Make a change right now. Do something different. What is your greatest need at this moment? Is it love, support, compassion, financial security, hope,...
Acknowledging Our Inner Critic

Trainer Tip "The only tyrant I accept in this world is the still small voice within me." —Mahatma Gandhi In Compassionate Communication, some of us call the critical voice inside our heads our jackal. The jackal says you should or shouldn’t do something; it judges you and other people; and it is the most likely to get scared when you begin to make a change. I used to be embarrassed by my jackal...