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NVC Resources on Peace

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Every Angry Message is a "Please"

their disappointment, frustration, or anger toward you, take a moment to consider the "please" behind their words. When you do this, you have a much greater opportunity to resolve conflicts peacefully. When a person’s communication is difficult to hear, notice the “please” behind it. When you can hear it as “please,” does it shift how you feel? This trainer tip is an excerpt from Mary...
Living Our Values

would just make it easy for me to live my values. If other people would just do their part, I wouldn’t have to work so hard at doing mine. Can you relate to this? Here’s the real truth: I support peace in the world, which means that I want to live my life peacefully. This is my value; no one else forces me to hold it. I own it because it’s important to me. That means that I want to live...
NVC as a Strategy

Human needs are universal and strategies are specific. Well, Compassionate Communication is a process, but also a strategy. The needs I try to meet by living and teaching this process are harmony, peace, fun, love, safety, joy, and deeper connection to my life. The needs are universal, and the strategy I have found that best meets those needs is Compassionate Communication. There are many ways...
Be What You Want in the World

dreams! Live the life you’ve imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler. —Henry David Thoreau It’s simple, really. If you want connection, connect. If you want peace in your life, be peaceful. Don’t wait for the Red Sea to part. Start small. Try to remember to look the cashier in the eye when you thank him. Thank your mail carrier for her service to you and...
Independence vs. Interdependence in NVC

For us to have a more peaceful world and relationships, growing our skills to engage interdependently is key. An Interdependence-oriented person may choose to attend to both inner factors and outer factors that affect their own and others' experiences. Unfortunately, this is likely to be misunderstood by independence-oriented people as enmeshment -- and this is where conflict emerges. Read on...
Clarifying What You Value

Trainer Tip Until you make peace with who you are, you’ll never be content with what you have. —Doris Mortman Make a clear, conscious decision about what’s important to you, and then live from that place. I used to strive to be liked. I measured my success by other people’s opinions of me. I was in pain for years using this strategy. If someone didn’t like me, I felt bad and I tried to be the...
How to Hear Difficult Messages

It is not, however, the most authentic way of knowing. The most authentic comes from the heart. —Sonia Choquette Have you ever been sitting home reading or watching TV, enjoying your space and peacefulness, when your partner comes home and says something like, “Aren’t the dishes done yet? I am so sick of coming home to a messy house!”, then walks out of the room to take a shower? It’s easy to...
Self-Empathy

the jackal in Compassionate Communi¬cation) that I started to heal. The more inner healing I received, the greater my compassion for other people grew; this result increased exponentially. Inner peace creates outward peace. I gained much of my healing through self-empathy within the Compassionate Communication process. I focused on this process for several months before I started to experience...
What the World Needs

In this written transcript of a live presentation, Inbal Kashtan shares how she first became aware of poverty. She then explains how empathy is a vital and powerful force for creating peace in our world today, and a powerful means of creating a world that works for all of us. Good morning. My name is Inbal Kashtan. I grew up in Israel, but when I was 3 to 5 years old, my family lived in Mexico...
All in

I feel more able to face life, to trust myself to work out difficult situations. I am more humble and confident. I'd like to offer you hope that committing to nonviolence will expand - not limit - peace in your life. After teaching Nonviolent Communication and studying the work of Gandhi and others, I know the immense power and promise it brings. I feel this deeply. Fiercely. Using the 17 core...