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Recognize and Manage Reactivity About Your Cause

to process grief, become more present and compassionate, speak self-responsibly, and make requests. Read this practice exercise Keywords: activism reactivity transformation superiority conflict peace LaShelle Lowe-Charde Elia Lowe Charde
Create a Simple Restorative Agreement For Your Group

agreements with your group about what to do when conflict arises. Keywords: Jo McHale Ceri Buckmaster Sarah Ludford restorative justice restorative Justice agreements conflict resolution conflict peace groups group dynamics group agreements
What is Nonviolent Communication?

said: Thou. —Al-Hallaj "Nonviolent Communication (sometimes known as Compassionate Communication) is a way of interacting that facilitates the flow of communication needed to resolve differences peacefully. It focuses on shared human values and needs, and encourages the use of language that increases good will, and avoidance of language that contributes to resentment or lowered self-esteem....
Understanding Judgments

feel scared and you’d like the slopes to be safer. This slight shift from judging other people to awareness of how their behavior affects you can make a profound difference in your ability to live peacefully. Be aware of your moralistic judgments today, and make a conscious effort to shift from judgments to an awareness of your own feelings and needs. This trainer tip is an excerpt from Mary...
Making Demands

Trainer Tip "To practice nonviolence, first of all we must learn to deal peacefully with ourselves" —Thich Nhat Hanh When we ask something of a person and there will be negative repercussions if she doesn’t comply with our wish, we are actually making a demand. When we do this, she has only two possible responses: to rebel or to submit. Hard to believe? Consider what happens when you tell your...
Mediating Conflicts

being?" —Igor Stravinsky When mediating conflicts using Nonviolent Communication, I focus on establishing a quality of connection that involves trust and a sincere desire to resolve the situation peacefully. This involves listening for the needs that each person is trying to meet. I reflect back to them what I think their feelings and needs are until they feel heard. “So, you’re furious with...
Getting Beyond Our Self-Defeating Behaviors

Trainer Tip There is no way to peace; peace is the way. —A.J. Muste Have you ever noticed yourself doing something that shakes the serenity of your colleagues, your family, or yourself? We have become so used to conflict that we hardly know how to handle some situations without it. Not long ago, I participated in a committee of Nonviolent Communication trainers. I was starting to tell myself...
Avoiding “Right Fights”

kind of thing to him, it is likely you will be entering into a “right fight;” where you argue your rightness and then he argues his rightness. As tempting as right fights are, they rarely end in peaceful resolution or meet the original need, which in this case, was being seen as competent. A second strategy could be to express yourself honestly. “You know when you tell me how to drive and park,...
Needs, the Third Component of Compassionate Communication

your needs, and then discuss places that would accommodate them. Changing the focus of your conversations to needs can open the possibility for everyone’s needs to be considered and met through a peaceful resolution. Be aware of the difference between universal needs and the strategies you choose to meet those needs. This trainer tip is an excerpt from Mary Mackenzie's book Peaceful Living,...
Celebrate Yourself!

overwhelmed and I told myself I wasn’t getting anywhere. I often felt discouraged and wanted to give up. I didn’t give up because I didn’t want to live such a hopeless life. Now, my life is mostly peaceful and joyful. Now I see how every effort I made to shift my life has contributed to my current state of being. I am grateful for every mistake, every victory, and every confusing moment. They...