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NVC Resources on Responsibility

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Understanding Selfishness, Self-Responsibility, and Self-Care

What we refer to as "selfishness" is action taken without concern for the impact or cost of that action. Self-responsibility, on the other hand, includes actively living from the truth of interdependence, care for your and others needs, thriving of all, and more. We can access clarity of self care when we have open flexibility, curiosity, and responsiveness. Read on for more on the indicators...
Exercise On Self Responsibility

Self responsibility is owning what's yours. It involves identifying your observations, evaluations, feelings, longings, and more. When we identify what's truly ours we are unlikely to mistake it as coming from outside of us. Self responsibility is not self blame. Without self responsibility, we project, blame and judge. Self-responsibility is central to clarity and full self-awareness. This...
Taking Responsibility for Our Actions

Trainer Tip We are dangerous when we are not conscious of our responsibility for how we behave, think, and feel —Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D. Some time ago, I was visiting my family in the Seattle area. I was on I-5 heading south. The traffic was much slower than I had anticipated, and what I expected to be a one-hour drive became a two-hour drive. I could not detect any reason the traffic was...
Taking Responsibility for Your Choices

the blame on someone else, we won’t look as bad. Our primary motivation may be the desire to be accepted and valued; however, it’s an awkward strategy to meet those needs. If we don’t take responsibility for our actions, others no longer trust us. We all have choices. You may think that you have to follow the rules at work. You don’t; you choose to follow the rules. You can choose to quit, or...
How to Ask for Responsiveness

If it's a tender topic and/or you are looking for a particular level of responsiveness, you can let listeners know what you want back before you share -- or you can ask them for a particular kind of response right after you share. The more you can do this, the more it can create supportive relationships in your life. Read on for ways to ask for a particular kind of responsiveness to meet...
Taking 100% Responsibility for Every Relationship

something “right,” then the relationship would be different… Whoever you blame, the act of blaming leaves you in the victim position and unable to have the relationship you want. Taking 100% Responsibility offers a powerful antidote to this all-too-common dynamic by inviting you to assume a stance of leadership while holding full care for both parties’ needs. No longer will you need to wait for...
Self Responsibility

conscious choices to act within our own power. This requires us to be mindful in relating our stories to our needs. Read on for more on this, and the various pifalls within thinking about self responsibility. Read this article Keywords: self responsibility NVC pitfalls blame presence mindfulness Bob Wentworth
You Are Not Responsible for Other People's Feelings

consent —Eleanor Roosevelt How many times have we heard this? It may sound trite, but it’s true! Everyone’s feelings are a result of their own met or unmet needs. It’s important that we take responsibility for our actions and acknowledge that our behaviors are sometimes a stimulus for other people’s pain. It is equally important that we acknowledge to ourselves that other people are responsible...
Understanding I’m Not Responsible for Another's Feelings

but my girlfriend doesn't. Do you have ideas for how I could get her to understand this concept? Trainer Answer One of the foundations in Nonviolent Communication is how we hold the issue of responsibility; that is, each of us is responsible for our own actions. Others are responsible for how they interpret our actions, as well as how they feel as a result. And NVC suggests that how they feel is...
Moving Towards Life-Serving Responsibility in NVC

of fear, guilt, shame, or obligation. Often NVC training teaches us how to achieve the latter stage without the former. For greater compassion we can be more rigorous in how we talk about “responsibility", impacts and interdependence. Read this article Keywords: defensive compassion independence blame impact care freedom teaching NVC interdependence obnoxious stage NVC community liberation...