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NVC Resources on Responsibility

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What is Mine to Do?

How DO we live our lives? What is an effective response to what is happening in the world? Listen in as Miki dialogs with a participant asking, "What is mine to do?", and honors the dissonance we feel when working to change. This recording is from session 32 of Miki's 2020 program Responding to the Call of Our Times. Keywords: Miki Kashtan social change environment family vision purpose
Steps Towards Meaningful Action

We're in difficult times - possibly at the brink of extinction. What can we do in response? Some nonlinear steps: A.) Notice what isn't working; B.) Mourn so that we can move "towards" from an expanded space inside; C.) Analyze to bring a fuller understanding of what's happening and what's needed; D.) Reframe our inner and outer narratives; E.) Discern what we can contribute; F.) Care; and G.)...
What Could I Say or Do When Someone Does Not Talk?

how you feel when you see the reaction of the people you referenced (perhaps confused, frustrated?) because what needs of yours are not met (mutual understanding and connection?). By taking responsibility and having compassion for your own experience, you may have the resource then to empathize silently with the other and wonder compassionately about their experience. (Are they feeling angry? or...
Mourning Unmet Needs (The Art of Letting Go)

change we breathe new life into our souls. Marshall Rosenberg sums it up well when he says that "a need is life seeking expression." When we mourn we make room for this to happen. Taking Responsibility for Our Needs As I looked at my needs that were not being lived out I took responsibility for them and gave myself empathy, support, consideration, understanding, cooperation and respect. This is...
Codependency

Codependency occurs when others' behavior affects us in unhealthy ways and we get obsessed with controlling their behavior. For example, we may focus on other's needs while neglect what matters to us, and resent it. Or we may depend on others to rescue us from results of our actions. Or we may fix or rescue others' neglected responsibilities. Or we may make others responsible for our needs....
When We Need Empathy the Most

Sometimes I might give a great deal of energy and time to a friend in need. If I feel drained afterward, I call another friend whose love and support might help balance my account. It is my responsibility to keep my account balanced; other people are not responsible for knowing when it’s low. One day not long ago I was distraught about a development in my life. I was upset enough that I was...
Fear and Trust Facing the Year Ahead

At the boundary between 2021 and 2022, looking out over the future landscape of the coming year, I see conflict, violence and suffering growing and spreading in the world, And I also see, at the heart of the dissolution, a tremendous light getting brighter and brighter, brilliant and beautiful. Sharing with a dear friend and mentor about my relationship with fear and doubt, he asks, “What do...
Control

I believe we’re seeing in the world the inevitable effects of the temptation for us humans to use our intelligence to control – Nature, people, groups, nations, ourselves — and control so easily slides into domination, oppression, and exploitation. It’s inevitable what happens in the paradigm of separation and materialism in which we live. Control makes us feel safe in an uncertain,...
The Gift of You

Trainer Tip I hope I shall possess firmness and virtue enough to maintain what I consider the most enviable of all titles, the character of an honest man. —George Washington Every one of us is a gift to the people in our lives. But how often, when someone asks us how we are doing, do we respond with a flat “Fine”? Is this an honest statement? Sometimes it is. But often, we are so used to...
What to do When Racial Oppression and Privilege Collide

For over 10 years I ran a retreat to bring together members of the Global Majority* and white people. The intention was to help people from both groups learn ways they could show up and come together to combat racism. In one session, my co-trainer - a Latino man - shared a story about his experience of the police when he was a teenager. He and his brother had been stopped while driving home....