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NVC Resources on Responsibility

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Tips for the Road Series Tip 9

is not accurate, they will likely let you know and give you more information from which to offer another guess. • They might reply, “No, it’s not that. There is too much to do and too much responsibility.” • Based on that information, you could offer, “Do you feel overwhelmed and need more support?” Because empathy focuses on the feelings and needs within someone’s expression, it helps the...
From Blame To Power

others as the ones who can. Blame and how we respond to it, is both a symptom of inability to step into power, and an impediment to empowered relationships. Transforming blame requires self-responsibility. Read on for practices involving empathy, inner connection, power, preparation and engaging options. Read this article Keywords: self connection empathy dialogue preparation power blame Miki...
Alarm Feelings

more suffering. So instead, feel them without resistance, nor acting on them. Bring clarity by naming your observables and thoughts, plus your underlying vulnerable feelings, needs and self-responsibility. Then mourn what needs were, or are, unmet. Only then choose what actions to meet needs. Read this article Keywords: anger guilt shame shutdown unmet needs reactivity should judgement...
Recognize and Manage Reactivity About Your Cause

When we care about our cause and want to mitigate disaster, we may become reactive. However, transformation comes through connection, rather than convincing, judging, criticising, controlling, and making demands of others. To inspire change, get curious about how they relate to the topic – and get support for yourself elsewhere to process grief, become more present and compassionate, speak...
Healing the Blame that Binds

of the true cause of my distress also keeps me powerless to do much about it. And even though I may make great efforts to douse this distressing fire inside me by ensnaring you into taking responsibility for it, the fire still burns. It is as though there were a mirror reflecting a fire and I continued to pour bucket after bucket of water on the mirror expecting the fire to be put out. Blame: A...
Don't Be Nice, Be Real!

Make "Freedom the Center" and "Love the Circumference" in all relationships Speak your mind without creating hostility Give “Emergency First Aid Empathy” when buttons get pushed Quit taking responsibility for your partner's pain Keywords: empathy expression feelings honesty jackal show needs requests self empathy compassion connection dialogue inspiration personal growth self compassion self...
The Heart of Conflict

in the context of becoming a "third presence" with others who are in conflict. Topics include: Focusing on observations, feelings, needs and requests to support people in taking responsibility for their own experience, and being compassionate with themselves "Pulling by the ears" to help people hear the observations, feelings, needs and requests of the other parties in the dispute, and build...
Living Abundantly

want to date us, we know we will find someone who will. If one person doesn’t have the time or desire to deliver soup when we’re sick, we’ll find another way to feed ourselves. If we want more responsibility at work, we will find a way to expand our career. We don’t stop there, though. In our new abundant world, we value everyone’s needs as much as our own. We no longer try to meet our needs at...
Specificity Is the Key

notice that I spend most of my nights and weekends doing housework, paying bills, and taking care of my car. I’m frustrated about this, and I’d enjoy more support. Would you be willing to take responsibility for paying the bills and managing both our cars?” Making a specific and doable request as soon as you perceive your need is your best hope for getting it met. It is also the best hope for...
Getting Our Need for Love Met

to you? And how will he know if he’s been attentive enough? We all want to contribute to each other’s lives. No one is happy if he thinks his partner is unhappy in the relationship. It is our responsibility to help the people in our lives meet our need for love. If you are not in a relationship, consider what would best meet your need for love. You may think of many ways, but what would feel...