NVC Resources on Shame
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NVC Basics
to the quality of your communication. Sylvia combines experiential, didactic instruction, live support and weekly participant exercises to teach you how to speak from your heart without blame, shame or criticism. Learn the key NVC distinctions, how to ground yourself in a compassionate intention, and specific tools to maintain your NVC consciousness in all interactions. Listen to this...
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Feast for the Soul
will carry you through the discomfort of constriction and suffering and guide the opening of the heart and soul to healing and new perspectives. The light in these words and music shines through shame to trust, softens the letting go of self-doubt and waiting for life to be different, and inspires transformation, surrender and awakening to love and your true nature. Join us in this celebration...
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Mourning Our Disappointments
that are generated when we have been less than perfect. —Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D. We mourn when we acknowledge the feelings and unmet needs associated with regret without any sense of guilt or shame. When we do this, we can see how our behavior has negatively affected our lives, and we become more willing to try to do it differently next time. If on the other hand we tell ourselves that we...
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Privacy vs. Secrecy & Boundaries
the real reason you choose to talk about something or not? "Privacy" can become a misplaced label that's used to hide harmful behaviour. Secrets typically come from reactivity -- and can carry shame, fear or threat of harm, and take a toll. And yet, if something private gets mislabeled as a "secret" it can also trigger shame and fear. The key to all this may be in relating to privacy from a...
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Punitive Use of Force
right to do the same" —Voltaire Punitive use of force takes place when we punish people because we deem their behavior to be bad or wrong and the only way to change their behavior is to make them ashamed about doing it or feel afraid of doing it again. This consciousness arises from the belief that people do things that are dangerous to themselves or others because they are bad. It also assumes...
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Group Feedback
empathy than we are. We don't have trainers or other experienced NVCers in our area and I fear that if we can't find a way to move to the next level, the group may not survive, which would be a shame because we've gotten so much out of it. Do you have any suggestions for us? —S.O., California, USA Trainer Answer Dear S., I want to acknowledge the caring and concern for the wellbeing of fellow...
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The Unconscious Mind Compared to the Conscious Mind
to open their heart to their own needs, they experience more spaciousness, self-connection and a sense of choice. This is at the core of why we may become unconscious of certain needs: if we have shame about a need, we are less likely to want to experience it, and then we hide it from ourselves. When I read this phrase in your question “some unknown unconscious need,” I feel some concern,...
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The Cause of Our Feelings
important to me as well. The way I understand this is to differentiate two kinds of painful feelings — pure pain (sometimes called "natural pain" or "sweet pain") and suffering (i.e. anger, guilt, shame, depression, anxiety, etc.) — and that suffering is created by our thinking and pure/natural pain comes (is caused) when my full attention is focused on my needs. The question was also asked,...
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NVC and Social Change
We already know that Nonviolent Communication is an excellent tool for preventing and resolving conflicts, for transforming anger, guilt, shame and depression, and for creating a high quality of connection through which people enjoy spontaneously contributing to one another’s well-being. We’ve also heard that NVC is a powerful ally for creating social change. How does this work? How do we...
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Embracing Your Emotions
course In his poem, "The Guest House," Rumi invites us to welcome all of our emotions as "guides from beyond." This short 3 session course, discover how to honor the wisdom that anger, fear, shame, depression and other BIG emotions have for you. This class is all about emotional literacy, emotional intelligence and understanding your emotions for the messengers they are. Rather than repressing,...
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