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NVC Resources on Trust

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Life, Interdependence, and the Pursuit of Meeting Needs

flow of resources and energy in society and the economy, the more likely we can increase both natural abundance and the chances of averting extinction. Accumulation is a strategy born of mistrust. It’s an attempt to control the flow of life to guarantee that we will have enough for the future. Accumulation and exchange has blocked this interdependent flow. We can transform this blockage by...
Keep It Real, Warts and All

Sometimes our craving for love, acceptance, and approval leads us to show only parts of ourselves and hide others. This lack of authenticity actually breeds disconnection and mistrust, leading to those very needs not being met. What judgments are you afraid other people might have of you, such that you hide a part of yourself? Make a list. Any chance these align with judgments you have of...
What is the Role of the Facilitator in a Restorative Circle?

participation Staying in the present moment Stays in service of agreements Collaborate as a team Willingly restricting involvement (turns over decision-making to the community) Track the process Trusting the process Keywords: facilitator restorative justice group facilitation tips restorative circle Duke Duchscherer
Sitting With Not Knowing

our haste to find relief from the discomfort of not knowing, we often become defensive, jump to conclusions, and blame and criticize others. Sitting with not knowing requires us to suspend our distrust, tolerate fear and uncertainty - creating space within us. NVC provides a way forward to enter into a space of wonder, possibility, and creativity. Read this article Keywords: uncertainty...
Creating an Internal Secure Base

discomfort and vulnerability-- is a key feature of "security". If not, an "attachment reactivity" arises -- where sense of insecurity, separateness, and belief that love, and acceptance can't be trusted nor accessed reliably. Thus change would require intensive support. Here's a guide to help you reflect and access change. Read this article Keywords: expectations secure attachment Attachment...
Communicating with Children

from another child, while saying, “No grabbing,” teaches both children that grabbing is okay—for those with more power. A parent who unilaterally imposes a curfew implies that a teenager can’t be trusted to make thoughtful decisions about his life. Instead, in both words and actions, parents can convey two key ideas: 1. Everyone’s needs matter, and 2. If we connect sufficiently, we can find...
Letting People Support Us

I spent three nights in the Intensive Care Unit. When I got out of the hospital, I needed someone to stay with me for a few weeks because my brain wasn’t working properly and I couldn’t be trusted to make sound decisions. Through this experience I learned that I live in a barn-raising community. My friends and one of my brothers supported me. They stayed with me, brought me food, and reminded me...
Saying Thank You without Judgment

to tell him how his actions enriched your life. This could sound like, “Son, when you mowed the lawn as you promised, I felt such relief and appreciation because I really value follow-through and trust.” When you hear “thank you” today, notice how your actions have enriched the person’s life. When you become aware of it, do you experience it differently? This trainer tip is an excerpt from Mary...
Create Mutuality Rather Than Keeping Score

anger about your partner's choices? What do you want to demand of them? Rather than looking for what they're suppose to do, look for your feelings and needs, how would you would respond if you trusted your needs could be met without your partner, and what you choose to do given what your partner offers and does not offer. Read this article Keywords: mutuality keep score giving obligation duty...
Hearing Challenging Comments and Stretching into Love

of who I believe myself to be, in service of love?”. Try replacing love with a word that inspires you (e.g. freedom, thriving, etc). Note answers that arise later. Or explore the question with a trusted person or in a journal. Read on for examples. Read this practice exercise Keywords: identity criticism conflict judgement unworthy rejection attack jackal in demand belittle ego LaShelle...