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NVC Resources on Values

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Protective Vs. Punitive Use Of Force

still grab your child, not because you believed she was bad, but because you want to protect her. When we punish people, they focus on avoiding the consequences of their actions, not on their values in relation to their actions. Focusing on avoiding consequences is unlikely to encourage change. Focus on protective use of force today by adopting an attitude that people sometimes do things that...
Why I'm Grieving the Loss of Both Israelis and Palestinians

can call up such strong emotions, stimulate profound trauma, and make it harder to build community and practice across the lines that divide us. But today my heart is breaking, out of universal values for peace, dignity, and respect, my commitment to nonviolence, the particular pain of my people, and of all those affected by these recent events. Though I was born in the US, I hold dual...
Tips on Making a Request

Trainer Tip Minor things can become moments of great revelation when encountered for the first time. —Margot Fonteyn Many of us have rarely asked for what we want, so a few tips on how to do this are in order. Tip number one: Ask for what you want, not what you don’t want. One time I was in a car with two young boys. One of them kicked his brother, so I said: “Jake, when you kick your brother I...
Addressing Inequalities in Groups Using NVC

Near the end of a two-day workshop I facilitated, a white man who had not spoken within the group yet shared that he often finds it difficult to speak up in group settings. A transgender man from the Global Majority* - who had spoken up frequently over the two days - reacted with pronounced irritation. In that moment, the Global Majority man heard the messages from his past being reinforced....
Feedback without Criticism

Access this complete 5 session course Learn to Give Feedback without Criticism Overcome the dread about writing performance evaluations Trust your capacity to meet challenges when offering feedback Become excited about creating a learning culture in your organization Learn how to receive feedback without defending yourself This 5-session course recording is designed to support you in learning...
10 Healthy Ways To Deal With Anger

There appears to be a lot of confusion about anger. Many people believe it is bad to get angry and/or that anger is something to be avoided at all costs. Anger has been viewed by many as a negative. This may be because we confuse unhealthy behavior (the result of what happens when anger is not dealt with in a healthy way) with the emotion. Anger is an emotion and it can be thought of as an...
NVC at Work

Access this complete 6 session course Numerous studies, books, and articles show that companies and organizations are experiencing a crisis. Survey after survey shows that the majority of employees feel disengaged from their companies. The epidemic of organizational disillusionment goes way beyond corporations – teachers, doctors, and nurses are leaving their professions in record numbers...
A New Monetary System

There's a danger in using empathy exchange to perpetually recirculate and exchange pain (often by telling and re-telling the same old stories), rather than using it as a catalyst for transformation. It can create and further pain in whatever form: anger, destructiveness, hatred, grief, emotional drama, and violence. It can also reinforce dualistic evaluations of "met" vs "unmet" needs. And it...
Teachers Expressing to Students and Colleagues

Ask the Trainer Dear Trainer, I just started teaching in a public school, and I can't say I'm enjoying the violence that teachers express towards children and their colleagues. There are, however, a couple of teachers in my building who sincerely believe in empathizing with children and respecting their needs. However, when I start talking about Nonviolent/Compassionate Communication (even if I...
Increasing Presence Through Observations

CNVC Certified Trainer, John Kinyon, leads participants through two Observation Exercises to strengthen their ability to be present. Through the exercises, John distinguishes the difference between feelings, which are emotions felt inside the body, and observations which are witness to our experience. John further discusses why it is our thinking that causes our suffering rather than the...