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NVC Resources on Values

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Distinguishing Self-Revealing from Projection

world and living interdependently, Kathleen and Jared offer a path to reach deeper clarity, distinguishing between revealing ourselves and projection. Self-Revealing Making visible my feelings and values I choose to express authentically. Sharing my unique perspective, I take responsibility for my feelings by linking them to what I hold dear rather than something outside myself. I make my...
Unconditional Self-Acceptance

Here's a daily self-acceptance practice you can bring into your life whenever you are experiencing pain, tension, contraction, lack of fulfillment, or unmet needs or values. Giving your often undesired experiences space can be a path to greater inner connection and peace. Keywords: Robert Gonzales self acceptance contraction unmet needs presence attention awareness self compassion self judgment...
Living Peacefully, Starting With Our Physical Selves

that I choose food that doesn’t nurture my system because of my needs for safety, predictability, and relief. To meet those needs, I am creating new strategies that are more in harmony with my values of integrity, nurturing, and love. Some of these are to limit my sugar and carbohydrate intake and significantly increase the quantity of vegetables I eat each day. The human body is an awesome and...
Embracing Nonviolence

Session 4: Nonviolence in Action The focus of this session is to bring the principles of nonviolence into everything we do. This means to find more capacity to live in integrity with our values as well as more and more gentleness toward ourselves when we don’t. We will also engage in envisioning, in detail, a world that truly works for everyone and how we can transcend our “enemy images” and...
Empathy For Children

you expand your child’s emotional vocabulary and give your child the message that his needs are important to you. Once you have discovered what is going on with him, try to create a strategy that values both your needs. Avoid getting stuck on the specific strategy you hoped for, which might be to get your son to eat his dinner by six o’clock. The better you connect with your child’s needs, the...
Observing Reality

is two hours late for your date. What do you do? You may begin to make up stories about her lateness. You might think that she’s inconsiderate, or that she’s probably hurt, or maybe that she values her work more than her time with you. Stories like this cause us pain, and we really have no idea if any of them are true. Here’s another strategy. Simply observe what you know—that she is two hours...
Myths Of Power With

to accept this tragedy in order to support groups in continuing to exist as groups. Individual difficulties are not the only challenge facing groups. Another core issue is the question of shared values and shared strategy. This, too, came up in powerful ways within the Occupy movement. At least in Oakland, and I believe in some other cities as well, the struggles around whether or not to adopt...
Conflict Resolution

and Mary Tjosvold When there is conflict, the chances are good that people are arguing over a particular strategy. When we focus on our needs, the opportunities for peaceful resolution that values everyone’s needs are much greater. For instance, if a couple is arguing over whether they will get to their vacation spot by train or plane, they are arguing over strategy. What do you suppose both...
Inspired By Meeting A Greek God

“You know, I don’t want to make you look stupid in front of your woman, so therefore I ask first. OK, let me show you now…” While I did not quite share his somewhat patriarchal and machoistic values, I was astonished by this and had been marveling at what happened for the rest of that week. There was this incredibly handsome young man, probably already completely used to people swooning around...
Power Over vs. Power With

the rest of the family, corporations that seek participation and decision-making from all employees, and neighborhood associations that invite input from community members. A power with system values the input and needs of everyone who will be affected by decisions. The most powerful change agent known to human beings is an intrinsic desire to change. The attempt to force people to change out of...