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NVC Resources on Values

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Comparing Ourselves to Others

Trainer Tip Birds sing after a storm; why shouldn’t people feel as free to delight in whatever remains to them? —Rose Kennedy Comparisons are a form of judgment. There always seems to be someone who is better looking, more intelligent or more enlightened than we are. Similarly, there seems to be an endless supply of people who are not as bright as we, who are worse drivers, and who are less...
Change Your Thoughts to Change Your World

Trainer Tip "All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make our world." —Buddha If you want to live more compassionately, begin to notice the thoughts you have about yourself or other people. If you find yourself judging or criticizing, work on shifting your attitude. Several years ago, I became aware of my judgmental thoughts about others and made a commitment to shift...
Feelings vs Interpretations

Here's a list of words that pose as feelings, but are actually interpretations of what you think someone is doing to you. They trigger defensiveness in another thereby preventing a connected dialogue. Behind each of these words are precious feelings and needs. This sheet includes ways to distinguish feelings from interpretations. See this learning tool Keywords: feelings faux feelings...
Nonviolent Communication Basics

Here are some very basic forms and distinctions of NVC. It covers the 4 D's, OFNR, some NVC distinctions, tips, quotes from Marshall Rosenberg, and "feelings and needs" lists, and more. As with any art, these rudiments necessarily must be learned, practiced, understood, embodied and then let go of so as not to become rote and block creativity.. Read this article Keywords: observation feeling...
Basic NVC Overview, Teachings and Principles

Explore the core teachings and principles of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) to foster collaboration, mutual respect, and to connect across differences. NVC emphasizes connecting through universal needs, honest expression, and compassionate listening—creating space for understanding, and meaningful human connection. Read this article Keywords: observation evaluation OFNR feelings needs request...
Needs-Based Negotiation

Trainer Tip Thinking based on “who deserves what” blocks compassionate communication. —Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D. When I worked in the university system, I spent a great deal of time and energy negotiating for salary increases and position upgrades. My arguments usually focused on how I compared to other people in the industry, my years of experience, and what I thought was fair. I believed...
Practice, Practice, Practice

Trainer Tip I have discovered that we may be in some degree whatever character we choose. Besides, practice forms a man to anything. —James Boswell Sometimes I hear people say things like: “I didn’t use Nonviolent Communication this week. Everything was going so smoothly, I didn’t have to.” I suggest a different approach. Consider practicing the Nonviolent Communication process every day,...
Distinguishing Response from Reaction

navigating the polarization of our world and living interdependently, Kathleen and Jared offer a path to reach deeper clarity, distinguishing between response and reaction. Response Connection to values I am acutely aware that we both operate from unique perspectives in relation to our values, so I choose my strategies accordingly. I take into consideration what I imagine is important to both of...
Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic Motivation

Trainer Tip When we fear punishment, we focus on consequences, not on our own values. —Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D. Are you motivated by fear of punishment or negative consequences? Or are you motivated by a true inner desire? Research shows that long-lasting, permanent change comes when people have an intrinsic desire to change. Extrinsic motivation is temporary and often only lasts while one...
Keeping Our Perspective

Trainer Tip Every man has a right to be valued by his best moment. —Ralph Waldo Emerson One of my clients recently told me of a situation at her office. She had just completed her third year with her organization. She had received exemplary annual reviews every previous year. She made a mistake a few weeks earlier that caused the company to lose money, and she was reprimanded harshly. Her...