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NVC Resources on Values

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An NVC “Do-Over”

realization and choose to utilize NVC from that point forward. Sometimes I even ask the other person if we can have a “do over” because I didn’t respond in a way that is congruent with my deeper values. They are usually surprised and very willing to give it another shot. Keywords; compassion connection healing self compassion values Kathy Ziola
Free Your Heart From the "Difficult" Person

Reacting is deciding what to do based on what someone else does. Responding is deciding what to do based on your own needs and values. When someone isn't responding the way you want, and you want to respond in a way that embodies your values, with warmth and patience, examine your reactions. Ask yourself how you can access compassion and action that contributes to the well-being of all. See...
Reducing the Gap in Capacity Range

Kashtan describes this as a range from "floor to ceiling." Floor capacity is what happens when you hit your limitation, ceiling capacity is when you are closest to functioning in line with your values and vision. This video describes the need to work on both to prevent the gap from expanding. Keywords: Miki Kashtan capacity vision values limits
Staying Connected with Yourself While with Family

This audio training with expert trainer Rita Herzog explores the NVC alternative to family relationships: stay grounded in your own needs and values so you are able to reach out with empathy to family members. Sound easy? Listen to what Rita has to say about her own pattern in her family and see if you can relate. Rita says, “As a child, I did not hear my family talk about feelings, so I was...
Hidden Needs

and those have very little, usually, to do with the dishes themselves. I hope this helps! —Miki Kashtan, Oakland, California, USA Keywords: exercises/practices needs self empathy anger connection values relationships universal human needs Miki Kashtan
Interdependence in the Face of Cultural Imperatives

Join CNVC Certified Trainer Arnina Kashtan as explores interdependence, autonomy, valuing self and others, and power-sharing in your relationships. Free yourself to honor your longing for community, belonging, and love. We are all born dependent. We have a lot of practice and experience in modern culture with trying to be independent. Yet ancient traditions, along with our current global...
Choosing Whom We Empathize With

Trainer Tip "The pain is the aversion. The healing magic is attention. Properly attended to, pain can answer our most crucial questions, even those we did not consciously frame." —Marilyn Ferguson I have learned that empathizing with some people does not meet my own needs for connection, rest, or joy. This may be because my own needs are so great or because I have other, more pressing needs...
Sustaining Our World

Trainer Tip This is how a human being can change: There’s a worm addicted to eating grape leaves. Suddenly, he wakes up, call it grace, whatever, Something wakes him, and he’s no longer a worm. He’s the entire vineyard, and the orchard too, The fruit, the trunks, a growing wisdom and joy That doesn’t need to devour. —Rumi The world’s people are consuming its resources at an alarming rate. We...
Tips for the Road Series Tip 11

When we take a leap in life and put our hearts out into the world in new or bigger ways—sharing a song, dance, or poem, writing a book, competing at a sporting event, giving a speech, and so on—there is greater potential for aliveness but also for shame and pain. It is thrilling to follow our dreams and share our authenticity, creativity, and inspiration. But it is also risky because the parts...
Parenting for Connection

being and desire to see order in the home. So, what can parents do to promote love, compassion, cooperation and understanding in their relationship with their children? Parents can model these values by focusing on their children’s feelings and needs instead of focusing on labeling the behavior that they dislike. When parents focus on labeling a behavior they begin to diagnose or evaluate the...